04/03/2012

Breakfast: Oatmeal, egg and a banana; my coffee; my 32 ounces of water and my multivitamin and flax seed oil pill.

Up next… my snack at 10:30 and then lunch at noon.

How am I feeling this morning? Great! Didn’t wake up grumpy as usual, LOL! I slept through the night, so feeling wonderful about that. It’s been a while since that’s happened so it’s an awesome feeling knowing that I slept through the night.

How am I feeling physically after my training last night? OMG! I feel totally empowered! I feel like I can finally attain that goal of mine of losing those 50 pounds that I have been carrying around forever.

I know that last night’s session wasn’t a full session but more of a “checking me out” session and see what I can do, but I have to say that I am proud of myself. Proud that I walked around the gym with a little better sense of what I can start doing for myself.

The workouts weren’t all that bad. I survived them and I am happy about that. That 6 pound medicine ball that I worked out with was no joke. Hopefully later down the line, I will be able to conquer that ball and my balance issues.

My trainer advised me that he needs to work on my core, my back, my arms and my legs. He did tell me that I have pretty strong shoulders. Weird, but I’ll take it because the word strong is something that I am usually told that I am. The other exercises weren’t that bad either. I can’t wait until I master those suckers too!

He had me running on the treadmill on an incline of 4.0 and I thought for sure that I was going to fall but I have to admit that I survived it, especially since it was going at 5.0 miles an hour! Okay, okay… I only ran it for a minute, but it felt like an eternity. LOL! Hopefully I won’t feel so out of breath the next time I do it. He also taught me how to properly stretch before starting my work out… and boy did I feel things that I have never felt before. He said that I should always stretch before working out because then my major muscles are ready to start burning fat while I am doing my workouts. Fine by me… as long as we are burning fat, I am totally up for that. I can’t wait until I am completely strong. I will be happy when I am strong enough hat I will be able to do more. I will be happier when my body mass index (BMI) is so much lower and I will be able to burn fat faster. I will be just so much happier when I don’t have all this fat inside of me.

Okay, okay… I know that my trainer isn’t a miracle worker and in a blink of an eye he will have me doing all this soon, but I know that with time, I will be able to attain those small steps to a better me.

Here is a question that I would like answered… how can one person feel so alone in a room full of people? It seems no matter what is said or done, things are always the same. You are in a room full of people but no one speaks to you, no one realizes that you are around or they just don’t care that you are. It happens more and more each day. And I try not to let it bother me but I’m human, how can I not let it bother me? When I see so much interaction going on around me and I am not part of any of it.

How people can ignore a message that is sent to them. I know that I sent it to them… but yet, no response from them. They say that you should extend yourself out to people in order to get the extension back but how many times should I continue extending myself out to people that don’t bother to acknowledge the act? If I continue to walk away from people, I won’t be left with anyone.

You can only allow people to ignore you for so long before you just give up and move on. It seems to affect some people when you move on but with others, I guess they could care less. And I guess I have more of those “careless” people in my life than I realized.

How hurtful can people be? How can they continue to hurt a “friend” and not even realize it?

How long can someone not talk to them before they realize that a friend is breaking away? I guess to some, it doesn’t matter. I guess some people hope that you walk out of their lives so that they can have control over other things.

I am now on my next mini-meal of the day, my snack. I was supposed to have it at 10:30am but the time got away from me and I am having it a half an hour later. Well, it’s better late than never. I am having an 80 calorie pineapple-coconut yogurt with 3 teaspoons of granola in it. Can’t wait to try the yogurt, I haven’t had it yet.

And I am pleasantly surprised on how good this yogurt tastes.

Lunch was so good… I had a one cup of scallop potatoes, Brussels sprouts, roasted chicken leg and one ½ corn on the cob. It was very filling but not to the point that I am super full. It was just the right amount of food. Lunch conversation was very funny. Now we are all looking forward to getting out of work and enjoying the afternoon weather. Hopefully it doesn’t rain like they said it was supposed to… I would really like to spend some time outside with Mayalis tonight.

I guess I should be writing some of this stuff in my training journal, huh? But it is just so easy to type everything out and just post it on my blog and print it out for my journal. Don’t get me wrong, I love to write… so I will just take some of my own work here and transfer it to my training journal. Especially since everything is just about written out here, I just have to look up to the screen and copy what I need for the journal word-for-word.

Next up is my afternoon snack… and I will have to figure out what it is that I am going to eat. Maybe a cheese stick, or maybe some crackers or who knows what I will have a taste for later. We shall soon see.

Well, I didn’t go the route that I thought that I was going to go. I decided to eat some honey wheat Wheat Thins Stix and some potted meat. Okay, okay… I know that the potted meat isn’t the “greatest” thing in the world but I could have done worse. LOL! I will make up for it tonight during dinner. And if the weather cooperates, I will be able to walk around with Mayalis tonight.

Well, it’s just 8 days until our little princess turns 2 years old… OMG… I am so excited! She is so smart and getting so long. And her hair!!! I am so happy that her hair is getting so long now. For the longest time, I thought that her hair wouldn’t grow out. And when I wash her hair, it is so long when it’s wet. I know that she will have curly/wavy hair, you can tell especially since her hair doesn't just lay flat like mine did when I was her age. My beautiful little girl! I will continue to work hard to make sure that my little girl continues to grow in every way possible. I want her to know that both her parents are going to be by her side every step of the way and know that she will always have our support.

Next up is dinner… since I kind of slacked off with my afternoon snack, I will have to see what I have for dinner tonight. Maybe a light dinner of whatever is around the house.

And it’s almost time to go home from work… and other than my very first journal entry back in September; this is the 2 nd longest entry that I have written. I am looking forward to going home and relaxing tonight, especially since I will be having another long night tomorrow night.

Dinner was good… rice with some roasted chicken, cucumbers and some watercress. It was yummy! I wasn’t able to get outside with Mayalis because she was asleep when I got home and by the time she woke up, it was late and the temperature was starting to drop.

I am already in bed because I am so exhausted after the day that I had at work and hopefully I will be able to get some rest… so that’s why I decided to finish off this entry before I got too tired to type. I have to write up my training journal tomorrow morning, need to make sure that it is done for tomorrow night.

Looking forward to another great day tomorrow.