The last day of the month...

It's so bitter-sweet to get to the end of a month... sometimes you don't want it to end - in my case since November is my favorite month of the year - and sometimes you can't wait until it ends so that you have the opportunity to start fresh the next month.

But even though today marks the end of November of 2012, tomorrow marks the beginning of new journeys for me.

Tomorrow, December 1st, 2012, I will run my first (of hopefully many) 5k's with my hubby! I am very proud of us to be taking on this challenge that is so far out of the ordinary for us both. 
We have both said that we wanted to run a 5k but we've never made the attempt to do nor had we ever registered for a run. And now we have broken through that stereotype that "Hispanics don't care about their health", I am proud of our new journey together to find happiness with living a better lifestyle - a healthier one!

And hopefully with this race being on the 1st of the month.. it will be...

With the start of a brand new year coming right around the corner. A lot can be done in 31 days, so why not take the advantage of 31 days and make a difference in your life, right? Especially since it only takes repeating something for 30/31 days before it becomes a habit.

As I have said before, I want to be a healthy role model for my little girl. I don't want her to be hung up on numbers - as us women are so inclined to do - but to be caught up on how much energy she has and how much fruits and vegetables play a huge role in our life.

Today I plan on taking a picture of myself and reevaluating myself in 30 days to see how I am doing. And I will continue to do that until I have finally gotten rid of all this weight. That is my promise... this is the only way that I will be able to FINALLY do it. 
Even though I love taking pictures, it has become clear to me, I do not like the way that I am looking in my pictures. I am not going to bow down to the stereotype that I am not going to get rid of this weight because that is not who I want to be. 
I have been bitching and moaning about this WAY too long... I need to either "sh!t or get off the pot!". I can't keep bitching about the way that I am looking if I am not going to do anything about it. 
So if I can see people do it naturally, what the hell is my problem and why can't I do it too? I did it before, a long time ago, so what's stopping me now?

And this picture that I take of myself might not be the best picture that I have ever taken of myself... but hey... it's a start of something that I want to finally accomplish. This CRAP is driving me crazy. I hate getting dressed in the morning... I hate trying to find something that will "fit me right"! 
I want to be able to go into a store and know that I might be able to find something and be happy with it. 
I want to look fierce for ONCE in my life... not okay.
I want to look and feel confident for ONCE in my life... no slink in a corner because I don't feel that way.
I don't want to deal with all the medical conditions that keep me away from my job... because believe or not, I actually love my job now. I am not stressed but my body is and I have to get rid of all this excess weight so that I am not stressing about it anymore.

Me... 11/30/2012

So this Saturday, December 1st, I will continue to look forward to this run and to continue working towards my goal - whatever that first goal may be. I am not going to put a number there because whatever number shows up that is lower than my currently number will be fine by me. I just want to reach a point in my life that I am happy with myself. 

I want my to be proud of the person that I have/will become and know that I am here to stay for a very long time. 
Maybe I can finally get to see my abs again... something that I haven't seen since high school.
I want to look in the mirror and smile at the person that is staring back at me. 
I want to end 2012 on a positive note and start 2013 in the same attitude... I want to leave the old, grumpy Meli in the wings and have her find new wings to fly with. I want to soar!

Just writing that little sentence brought tears to my eyes... I don't want to feel like this anymore. I know that positive, upbeat Meli is trapped inside of me... and I can't wait until she has broken out and shown up again. I know that I will get there because I have finally gotten to my breaking point.

I am certainly paying the price for not taking care of myself better - I do try to eat as healthy as I can and try to get in as much running as I can - but I need to get better at it because if I don't - I'm even afraid to type out what could possibly happen to me.

So I won't write it and leave this entry here... before I completely break down and I won't be good for anyone here today.

Hasta la proxima! And wish me luck on tomorrow's race! :-)

What a day!!

It's been a hell of a day for me... I'm finally going to get some much needed sleep - hopefully.

I've been experiencing chest pains, a headache, body aches and a stomach ache since last night. So because I was feeling like last night, I wasn't able to sleep.
I emailed the doctor and they called me to come in. The doctor asked tgat since blood work be done so they can rule out anything that he might have had in mind. He did rule out the flu since he said that he didn't see anything that would have given him the notion that I had it.

Thankfully, I was able to sneak in an hour nap today after I got back from the doctors office.

So besides that... I am very excited!!
After picking up the princess last night, we headed over to Fleet Feet to pick up my running packet. There were tons of people there picking up their packets too.
I'm looking forward to finishing this race on Saturday morning, especially since it's going to be so beautiful out that day. And having the hubby there with me to run it is going to special. 

My running tag!

My mom and princess will be there too to meet us at the finish line.
Hopefully the hubby and I will be able to do another run in January. This particular run will give out a fleece sweater and at the end of the race, you get a medal. SWEET!!! That's what I'm going to be racing for... that medal.

Well since nothing much going with me, besides feeling tired, I'm going to end this entry here.

Hasta la proxima!

All Access - part 2

So... will I have time to post an entire entry today? A continuation from yesterday's entry... I am not sure... Things are hectic here and I am surprised that I am typing out this right now.

Yesterday I ended the entry with the way that I felt about high school... can you tell that I really didn't like my high school experience? It was just something that I had to do and get it done. And I am thankful that I got out of there in one piece... by the grace of God I did.
High school was just a point in my life that so many things were happening both at home and at school... I just wanted to get it done and move on with my life.

I tried very hard to start college since I had gotten out of high school early but I didn't make the deadline and of course when I did get them all the information, the college of my choice at the time, screwed up my paperwork and I couldn't start. So I had to change my plans and it just made it even harder to for to get things together for myself.
But I finally did get back into school but only lasted a semester. :( Total fail!
But a couple of months later, I was back in school and in a program that lasted one year. I completed the program and graduated - on stage no less! - from the program. That's as far that I have gone with completing a program.

I have been bouncing back and forth to school at DeVry... but for some reason I cannot finish. :-( I can't figure out why. I really want to be back on stage getting my degree but I don't know what is holding me back from finishing it.

But nothing can be done about the things that are in the past... hopefully I can learn from my mistakes and move forward from it. 

Flash forward ... after being in two TERRIBLE and worthless relationships - which the only thing that I learned was that I am stronger than I thought about not wanting a relationship like that in my life - I spent 8 years of my life bouncing around; Not in a bad way at all... it was more going out with friends, meeting new people, letting go of some friendship (forging others), traveling to California, New York, Mexico and Puerto Rico during that time... 

I finally gave into the notion that I wasn't going to find anyone worthy of my time but that came to an end on a beautiful Sunday in May of 2006.
And to think that he wasn't going to be there that afternoon... I am so glad that you came out that day. My life hasn't been the same since... and I am thankful to God for that.

In the last, almost 7 years, I started dating a wonderful man, that I became engaged to in December of 2006, we traveled to Florida in 2007, we became husband and wife in May of 2008 then traveled to Puerto Rico and became parents of a beautiful little girl in April of 2010. We even traveled to Las Vegas in June of 2012. With many more adventures in between all those years and even more to come.

I finally found true happiness with my family... be it small or large... but no matter what, I have enjoyed every single moment of it. Both the good and the bad; it has shaped me into the person that I am today. The person that you see standing in front of you.

With so many years ahead of us, I look forward to sharing my life with my hubby and of course with our little wonder. We have so much to look forward to and enjoy. The universe will never be the same because we are in each other's lives.  

And with that, I have stepped back into my life in order to give you a glimpse of what my life was like - maybe even give you a little understanding of why I am the way that I am. It might not make sense, hell, I don't know if it does... but if you are confused, ask me about it and I will hopefully be able to explain something to you to help you along.

Well, here I was thinking that I wasn't going to be able to write anything today but I did. 
I guess I should get back to what I was originally doing.

Here are a few keys dates that I am looking forward to:

11/28 - picking up my running packet
12/01 - The Santa Hustle
12/02 - The Jewelry Show
12/09 - The Donner Dash (the princesses' 50-yard dash!)
12/10 - The Hubby's Birthday

And of course there are more on my calendar and it's only getting better!

Hasta la proxima!

All Access...

Yup... writing this blog has given people an all access into my life.

How do I feel about that? Well, I do feel good that I am able to express the way that I feel but I know that I am limiting myself at times because I am sure if I really wrote what I felt, I probably would be ostracized by people for the way that I think. And even though I shouldn't care, but sometimes the thoughts that I have are just too out there for some people to understand.

That's okay... as long as I understand my thoughts and figure out what I need to do/say about that, I am fine with not expressing them on here. And of course there are certain people that I know that I can go to to express how I am feeling about things. Thank you!

As the anniversary of the start of this blog is coming - 01/28/12 - I have come to realize that I have shared a lot of my life with the world. Okay so I am not sure whether or not besides the people that actually get the email of this, if there are others on the blogger network are reading this because I really don't get comments posted to the actual post but either way, I am happy to those that take time out of their busy day to read a little bit of the craziness that comes out of my little mind. ;-)

This blog has really helped me with a lot of different issues that I have come across and things that I have had to think about. At times, I didn't know what to write and my fingers have just taken over and continued to type out what my mind seems to want to block out - like today - but I am grateful for the opportunity to go back and see how much I have grown as a person.

My dreams of someday publishing a book might not happen but you never know. Stranger things have happened to people. But again, do I want the whole world looking into my tiny little world? Making references to what I have done, what I have said, the problems that have risen out of my life? Then something inside of me tells me to stop writing this blog... to stop letting people read what is really on my mind. I don't judge what someone might want to do with their life; but yet am I afraid of the way that people might judge me? 
I know at times I might not care how people perceive me... because that is their opinion of who I am. Do they REALLY know who I am? Have they sat down with me to ask me why I do the things that I do or say the things that I do? Probably not... and that's why they are so quick to judge or even make "fun" of me. 

People that know me really don't even know me as much as they think... they might know enough of me to answer personal/business questions about me (or to help me out of certain situations) but about me completely, no one. I know that everyone out there hides a bit of themselves from the outside world. This is just something that is a defense mechanism against the judgement of the world. Sometimes people just don't understand what might be swirling around a person's mind. Nothing wrong with that... this is not to tell people that I don't share my world with them because I do - but there are just certain things that I believe that you just wouldn't understand. :-)

I had the opportunity to merge the world of high school (with a friend) with my current world this weekend. My high school friend reminded me of things that I hadn't thought about in a long time. 

• My time of a pageant contestant
• My time of being a tester of products
• My time of being a "principal scholar" in high school

I guess seeing this side of myself compared to the side of me that I currently show, well, I don't know how to explain it but these are two different worlds. There are things here that I wouldn't mind merging - like the whole being back in school scenario - but of course there are things that I wouldn't want to relive from my high school days - like my attempt to take my life. Yes... high school was a very hard time for me and I just didn't fit in; I wasn't a REAL jock because I was in the bowling team and not the softball or basketball team, I was too smart for the regular class students because I was in honors classes and I wasn't smart enough for the honor classes students, I was "too pretty" for some and "not pretty enough" for others, I didn't date gang-bangers but they wanted to be my friend since I didn't want anything from them. 

I didn't fit in anywhere... and I didn't know what to do. 

So I did the one thing that I knew that I would be happy with - leave school as soon as I was able. And leave I did... 6 months before graduation, I was out of the door of the school with the credits that I needed to graduate in June.

I didn't want to go to prom, but my mom and some other people said that I would regret it. Believe me... I regret going. Spending all that money for something that I really don't remember or had a good time at? No thanks! 

I didn't even want to go to my graduation but I did... and it was more for my mother than anything. I do remember that night... and I am glad that I went. It was closure for me, to shut the door on those 4 years that I spent at my high school.

And I haven't looked back since... Thankfully I haven't been to any of my high school reunions because that to me would have been another waste of money. 

I tried to be on the reunion committee on the 10 year reunion but I was accused of "not doing my job" and the memories of not liking these people back in high school all came flooding back into my mind. 

I had pushed all my feelings that I had for this particular group of people to the side so that I can find a different sense of them but of course they screwed that up for me. So I stepped down from the committee - can you believe that they wanted me to write a letter to the committee saying that I was abandoning them? - and went on with my life. To tell you the truth, I hadn't seen anyone from high school since... until I saw two people this year. And I think that I will leave it with those two people, I don't really want to see anyone else.

I guess I will have to finish this entry tomorrow... because the day got away from me and I couldn't finish it.

But that's okay... keeps those reading this on the edge of their seats. LOL!!

Hasta la proxima!

Happy Birthday to me!!

Happy Thanksgiving to the world... is what I would have posted if I had the time to get online on Thursday. LOL!! But that's okay... I had a lot to do that day and made sure that everything was done.
A lot of cooking, cleaning up, cleaning, and hanging out with family... I think that I made the best of my time on Thursday.

By the time I got to bed, I was exhausted! But it was all worth it at the end of the day... Look at this spread!

Thanksgiving 2012

How can you resist this!?

We had so much food and it was all so good!! I enjoyed every single thing that was laid out on that table that evening. 

I even had the energy to make a beautiful looking caramel banana bread trifle... It was so rich and yummy. And darn it! I forgot to bring some for dessert today... that's okay, I can have some later.

So that was Thursday.. which was great! My brother and his family came over (the boys even stayed the night!), Gino, Blanca and Fela came over too... we had a pretty nice group of people for dinner.

Friday was nice... we woke up a little late - 8:30 for me - and then Joel and I made breakfast for everyone upstairs. Banana pancakes, eggs and turkey bacon! YUMMY!!!

I helped my mother clean up the kitchen and Joel, the boys and Mayalis went downstairs to play. I also helped my mother rearrange the two extra bedrooms for more room. They turned out pretty nice.

After we were done there, Joel, Mayalis and I got ready to go to my mother-in-law's house for Thanksgiving with them. We stayed there until about 9pm and then we came home to just relax.

Saturday, I took my mother to pick up her new glasses and then we went to Golf Mill Mall to see if I could find something for me to wear for my birthday gathering that night. So we checked out Ross and I couldn't believe that I did find something to wear. I got a dress, some tights and some new boots and wore that.

Dinner was so yummy!! I got my sushi fixed filled... and was it filled! LOL! I was so stuffed by the time we walked out of the restaurant.

Now tell me... how can you not enjoy food when it is presented like this?

Yummy, yummy for my tummy!!

Joel is even talking about even going back to the original place where I got my first REAL fix for some more... but that's for a later date! LOL!

And oh my goodness... all the bottles of wine that I went through while we were all talking and eating.

The guests that I had at the restaurant were Lisa L, Danielle (and her date), Karla and Angel, Javy and my high school best friend Maggie (which was a total surprise!) and of course Joel.

But it was after the dinner that the real fun began... and the joke was on me.

Originally, I had made plans to head to a night club downtown for some Salsa and Merengue dancing but I guess my wonderful husband had other plans. I found out later that he had sent out an invite to the people that I had invited to the Spanish club to a bar closer to home.
So after being told a story that we needed to stop at this bar so my girlfriend can meet someone really quick, I was surprised by all my friends. It was such a wonderful surprise... I loved it!

The hubby and I... isn't he just the cutest?!

Cassie and Jose

Mike and his new bride, Wren

Ladies and I...
Left to right: Griz, Lisa, me, Karla and Danielle

We had a fabulous time! And boy did I drink!! LOL!! What took me over the top was the two shots that I took with my brother. But thankfully I didn't vomit at all... I was able to keep myself together. LOL!

I got home and just went straight to bed... and it was nice to just drift away after having such a wonderful night with some really great people.

Sunday was just as nice... after getting up and having breakfast with Joel and Mayalis, we headed out to take Mayalis to the movies, as promised. We went to see The Rise of the Guardians - and I have to say that it was a pretty good movie for it being a kids movie. Huge message of believing in yourself and in those things that cannot see either. Sometimes it's those things that we don't see that brings us the most joy in our life.

And after getting home, Mayalis was asleep and I put her in our bed... and was able to get 3 loads of laundry done and put clothes away while she was asleep. It was great to be able to get so much done last night.

Now I am here... 

Sometime this week I need to pick up my packet for the race this Saturday! 
OMG... I can't believe that I will be running/walking/sprinting my first 5k this coming weekend! I am both excited and nervous at the same time. I need to get in some runs this week... because I need to work on my time. I am really praying that I can finish the whole thing in about 45 minutes. That should be good for me to work from there on improving my time.

Today being my actual birthday... I am very blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life. I am so lucky...

I have been called by different people and they have sang over the phone to me... I even received a call from my princess telling me Happy Birthday Mommy! OMG... my eyes teared up when I heard her say those words to me.
So you know that I am so looking forward to getting home to her this evening...

So here is to another wonderful year ahead of me...

And with that... this is the first picture of the 35 year old me! :-)

11/26/2012 - 35 years young!

And with each passing day, I hope to see a different person staring back at me when I look in the mirror. I am more dedicated than ever to say goodbye to this weight for good.

So many wonderful things are waiting for me in the future and I need the extra energy in order to attain those things. And I am looking forward to all the fantastic things that lay ahead for me in life. 

And I know that with my own strength, I will be able to see those changes come to me. :-)

5 days until my first 5k.
13 days until the princesses 50-yard dash.
14 days until the hubby's birthday.
And so many other things that are on my calendar!

Wishing everyone a blessed and beautiful day! Hasta la proxima!

On the Eve of Thanksgiving...

I am going to be a busy little bee... I have so many things that are running through my head on things that I would LOVE to make for tomorrow. 
I want my food to be good... I want my food to look good... I want everyone to enjoy my food.

But of course I also want to make some desserts. After speaking to so many people around here at work about what they are making for Thanksgiving, it seems that desserts are a big deal. I looked up a few recipes that I might be able to do on my own. Joel mentioned that he wants to make a pie... so let's see if I am able to pull this off.

And I want to squeeze in a run today too... since my stomach just wasn't having it yesterday. So I wasn't able to get to the park. I don't know what I ate yesterday that my stomach gave me a hard time, but it sure did give me a hard time.

Today at work will be an early dismissal day... so I will be leaving work at 12:30pm. And I need to make sure that I have the list of things that I want to do in mind, if not, my whole afternoon will be a waste because I will not know what to do with the time and I will kick myself.

Tomorrow should be a good day... Joel wants to make breakfast for everyone, so I will have to pick up the things that he needs to make breakfast. UGH!! I just should have taken today off... I don't know why I didn't. But that's okay... I'm up, out of house and I'm sure that I will get more done now that I am up than if I was at home. LOL!

And this weekend should be a good one... Saturday is shaping up to be a good time for all. Dinner with about 20 people (YIKES!! LOL!!) and then hanging with over 30 people at the club afterwards. I am blessed to have so many people want to come out for my birthday. Hopefully the weather will cooperate and it won't be too cold.

So since it's been a short week... and a very short week of daily entries. I don't know... I guess not a lot going on recently. Could that be a good or bad thing?
Haven't been thinking about a lot of things lately... nor have I have been stressing about things either. I guess that could be a good thing. HMMMM...

Well, since it's almost time to go... I will leave this entry here.
Have a wonderful day everyone... hasta la proxima!

One more stupid love song...

Yes... no matter how you put it, I have to agree with Adam Levine of Maroon 5... if I hear one more f'ing love song I'll be sick! LOL! I think that is why I switched radio stations, I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't listen to the sappy songs that they were playing on the station, and they started playing Christmas songs already at the beginning of November... oh no! I can't do Christmas songs almost two months early. LOL!! 
Okay... off my soap box... onto better things. LOL!

So I had my fertility doctor appointment... and everything is up in the air on what is going on with me. Just waiting to hear from the doctor (or doctor assistant) this afternoon.

Okay... last night was good! 
I got home, had dinner and started seasoning the turkey for Thanksgiving. OMG... that sucker was heavy and big - well of course it is if it weighs almost 25 pounds! LOL! But I got it done with the help of my mom and it's marinating in the fridge since I finished with it last night.

I was going to take a picture of it, like a before and after, but taking a picture of a raw turkey wasn't going to give it any justice. LOL! So hopefully I will be able to take a picture of it, along with everything else on the table, on Thanksgiving Day.

WOW... I'm looking at the entry and realize that I really don't have much to report on. Just looking forward to getting home tonight.

So since there isn't much to write, I will leave the entry here. Sorry so short... :-(

Have a great day/afternoon/evening/night! :-)
Hasta la proxima!

What a weekend!

It all started on Friday evening and didn't end until last night... every moment memorable. 

Friday it was dinner with my two loves at a Costa Rican restaurant and then going to Old Navy and Sports Authority.

Saturday was an early morning of an eye doctor's appointment with my mom, having lunch with her and the princess, picking up those last minute things for Thanksgiving dinner, picking a dress for the princess at Carter's and then me getting my eyebrows done.

Saturday night was great! After getting home to get ready for my girls' night, I walked over to the restaurant with the hubby - he was going for a run - and Grissell and Patty had just gotten there. Karla showed up a little bit after then. 

So we got our table, had the waitress open up the bottle of wine that I had gotten for us and we order appetizers and our food. 

OMG... the food was great... 

Our sushi roll... YUMMY!!

The conversation was wonderful... it was just a great time at the restaurant.

Patty and Karla acting silly... LOL!

Here are a couple of more pictures while at the restaurant...

After leaving the restaurant, the four of us piled into the two cars and headed over to Gorilla Tango to see the Star Wars burlesque show that we decided to see... and it was a great time.

At Gorilla Tango

After watching the show, Karla went home and Patty and Griz took me home. I was so bubbly from all the wine that I was just not in any condition to do anything else. LOL! Besides, I didn't want to be throwing up from any more alcohol. LOL! It was a perfect ending to my girls' night.

When I got home, Joel was still awake and we watched television together until I passed out on the couch. 

Then yesterday was a morning/afternoon/evening with the loved ones.

Brunch with the main two loves of my life... then to the mall to try to find running shoes for the princess.

Then it was group family time for Jary's birthday... and it was another wonderful time with everyone.

I'm here with the two youngest children of the clan...
And Jary is surrounded by all the kids that were present.

After all that, it was nice to get home and get ready for the week ahead... I finally got to bed after 11:30.
The princess got into her bed and within 10 minutes, she was asleep.

And now I am here at work... I have a strange feeling that it will be a long three days of work but I am really hoping that it really isn't.
What I am really looking forward to is Thanksgiving this week... a time to give thanks for the people that have come into your life, those that have stepped even if it was for a moment and to those that caused pain/suffering in your life and have now stepped out of your life for good, LOL! You must give thanks for everything good and bad in your life. These are things that make you the person that you are today.

So give thanks to those wonderful pain-in-the-ass people that you don't have in your life anymore and making your life THAT much better... THANK YOU FOR NO LONGER BEING IN MY LIFE! LOL!!


Okay... on another note... I made an appointment to see my fertility specialist for tomorrow morning. It seems that I am not getting my period this month and I want to see what are my next steps are. So the hubby and I will be at the doctor bright and early at 7am. I'm nervous and scared. I don't know what to expect to be told tomorrow. I guess until they check me out, I won't know what to expect.


But on a more positive note... only 3 days until Thanksgiving, 5 days until my birthday party, 7 days until my birthday, 12 days until my race, 20 days until the princesses race and 21 days until the hubby's birthday! So many wonderful and positive things going on between now and the beginning of December. And with all this positive energy surrounding me at this point, I am really hoping that it transfers into the new year in the same way. OMG... I am so excited about everything.

So tonight I will be preparing the turkey for Thursday. It should have a really good taste since I am doing it so far in advance. 
And looking forward to cooking all the other things that we have on the menu. :-)

Well, that's all for me for today... hasta la proxima!

It's a slow day..

It's almost lunch time... and I've done so much this morning. 
Breakfast was heated up and ate... and it was yummy!
Two page letter to my boss - with attachments - on things that I need to go over with her. And that took up the majority of my morning because that went hand-in-hand with all the emails in my inbox. So I was able to clean up my inbox of having 178 emails down to 49 now.
Cleaned up my desk of things that I didn't need or had to put away.
Checked my emails and scheduled meetings that needed to get put on the calendar. Already into the new year with my bosses calendar and setting up meetings.
Getting ready for a meeting this afternoon that I will be taking notes at... UGH! I don't like taking notes in a meeting. Especially when there is going to be a good 15-20 people at the meeting. 


Now I don't know what to do with myself... and I still don't know what I am going to get for lunch! Sometimes going out to lunch is just so overrated. 

So last night was real nice... picked up the monkey and took her home. After getting her situated, I sneaked away to get ready for my run with Liz.
I took a different route to the park and it was nice to see things differently at night.
Since I got to the park before she did, I was able to get in a whole lap around the park. Trying to stay on path on running is starting to get hard since I am not getting enough sleep at night. If I don't get enough sleep, training is going to start getting harder and harder and I want to make sure that I am doing this right. I don't want to fall off the wagon since I am enjoying this so much.

Liz and I after our run.

I want to be a positive role model for my little girl... I want her to know that her mommy started training for this race and she completed it. I might not complete the whole race running but I will complete this race for her.
And since we registered her for the Donner Dash, I am going to cheer my heart out for my little girl. I want her to have a great time while doing it also. I am hoping that I can get her to do some other "races" as soon as the weather starts getting warmer. I'm sure that she will enjoy running since she loves to run around anyway.

So after the run at the park, Liz was kind enough to drive me home. I got inside and the princess was already in her pj's. She was so happy to see me when I walked in the door.
I ate my dinner... and jumped into the shower afterwards. I was exhausted by the time I climbed into bed around 10pm. I was very surprised that I slept the majority of the night - I woke up around 3:45am and checked in on Mayalis. I gave her a bottle and changed her diaper. I was able to get back to sleep around 4:15am or so. Maybe one of these days I will be able to sleep through the night. Hopefully that will happen someday.

Tomorrow is the night that I get together with my girls... and it should be a great time.
I purchased my ticket to the burlesque show and dinner at the sushi restaurant before the show should be good. Just need to figure out what I am going to wear for both tomorrow night and for my birthday party. I'm sure that I can just use something that I have at home... just need to make time to go through my clothes and figure those things out.

So getting ready to get out of work and the hubby will be picking me up at the train station... have a wonderful evening. Hasta la proxima!

Getting stronger...

Those are some powerful words... getting stronger.

But I am getting stronger as each day pushes by... as each day opens up into another one, I see myself in a totally different light. I see how things are changing inside and outside of me.

I can see a little better... I feel a little better... I can run a little faster.
I can see the light at the end of my journey... and it is burning a little brighter as I inch my way closer to it.

With only 11 days until my birthday, I didn't make my goal of losing a TON of weight but since leaving Weight Watchers but I haven't gained any either and that right there, is a HUGE feat. I was CERTAIN that I was going to gain a ton of weight after deciding to drop Weight Watchers but I am so glad that I haven't.
On the contrary, I have become stronger (here's the word again) and I have found the courage to register for my first race and continue to train for it.


But then of course you get those days when everyone around you wants to just bring negativity into your life. You try so hard not to let it get to you but all you want to do is sit on the floor and SCREAM your head off. Just crash into a wall and hope that you knock yourself out. Fall from the sky and just soar away from all of it. When it feels like a nightmare and you are WIDE awake to all the hurt that you are feeling.

To those feelings - that try to bring me down - I say to you, I will take you and run... run until I cannot run anymore. Take you outside, throw you to the ground so that I can stomp on you every time I come around.
I hate feeling helpless... I hate feeling worthless... I hate trying to please when I just get kicked until everything that I work for is just blown in my face.

These days are so trying... it sure does take a toll on your spirit when you try to do everything that you can to get things done and people just don't appreciate all the hard work that you do. I'm not asking you to throw a party every time I do something but acknowledge that I do work hard on getting things done.

Sometimes I just want to give up on everything that I am working on... but then I look at all I have accomplished thus far and I can't. I can't let the feeling that are pulling me down bring me down completely. I need to continue to march ahead of these feelings and know that not all of this in vain. I will get past all these terrible feelings and forge ahead to all my dreams and aspirations. 

And here is a prayer poem that I came across that sort of calmed me down this afternoon...

I pray for every woman who has ever been hurt~

I pray for every woman who has been abused~

I pray for every woman who has been abandoned~

I pray for every woman who is in pain~

I pray for every woman lost in confusion~

I pray for every woman searching for answers~

I pray for every woman searching for healing~

I pray for every woman in need of forgiveness~

I pray for every woman who wants to forgive~

I pray for every woman afraid of how powerful she really is~

I pray for every woman feeling helpless~

I pray for every woman feeling hopeless~

I pray for every woman feeling alone~

I pray for every woman afraid to trust~

I know that every woman out there has had their woe... and sometimes we just need to wallow in our sorrow for a little bit but then we must remember that we are stronger than yesterday... stronger than we ever believed. Because what doesn't kill you makes you STRONGER!

No matter how much you think that you will be swallowed "alive" by your problems, don't! Allow your faith in yourself outshine everything that might be fighting within you. And remember, all this sorrow is only temporary... the happiness that you walk with is permanent. 

On a totally positive note...
We have just registered the little princess in her first ever "race" - the Donner Dash! She will be "running" a 50 yard "race" on December 9th. OMG... we are being such positive role models for our little girl. Too bad that she doesn't understand that whole concept of future things because we would be able to get her all pumped up for this little race that she will be participating in.

Since this race is an 8k and not a 5k, this race is a little longer so I am not going to register for this race. Besides, I want to see my little girl in this race! How exciting!!!
I've already posted it on Facebook so that people can come out and cheer her on!  You should see the HUGE grin on my face right now while I am typing this!! LOL! 

When I think that things are getting worse, just a small thing just turns it all around. 
I guess it has been a pretty good day after all.

Hasta la proxima!

And the training continues :-)

So I didn't post anything last night... and I have to say that I super surprised at myself. I was doing pretty good posting during the week and then I go to bed last night and realized that I hadn't posted anything. Nothing that I could do then because I was exhausted; I could have posted from my phone but I just didn't want to. LOL!

But I can say that I did do something that I really wanted to do... RUN! I couldn't let the cold weather that we had last night stop me. The hubby was home yesterday so it was nice to go out running with him. He is so supportive of my running and I love watching him run too. He is so good at it.

After our run... don't I look like a little boy? LOL!!

And it was so awesome to watch him cheer me on after he was done running! I'm sure that I will have trouble with the race on the 1st of December but no matter what, I know that at the end of the line, he will be there cheering me on to finish. I am getting so excited about this race as the days get closer. Only 17 days left! YIPPEE!! If everything goes well, I will go running again tomorrow night... I can't wait!

I can't wait until I finally master running at least a whole mile without stopping. I can do 1/4 of a mile without stopping, but that isn't going to help me out. 

On another subject... this Saturday, I will be getting together with some friends for our girls' night. Our last one was back in September for another birthday. We will be headed to get some sushi and then we will decide what to do afterwards. I have so many ideas strolling around in my head but I can't figure out what I want to do. I'm sure that I will figure something out that night.
Maybe we'll go see a burlesque show at Gorilla Tango... that would be a great show to see with my girls. HMMMMM... maybe that's what I want to do. And since it gets out early enough, we might be able to go somewhere else after. HMMMM... this is sounding a tad great right now. Just need to let the ladies know now. LOL!!

Then on the 24th, it's my birthday gathering... and that one should be a great time too. I cannot wait! I am going to leap out of 34 with a bang and start off 35 on a more positive note than ever!

Okay... so I have to share this!!
Last night my little princess made me my breakfast!!! My nena made me my breakfast! OMG... it was such an experience to watch her cook with her father.

And here is the finished product from my princess!

It was super yummy because of the love that it was made with...And I had double the love because both my loves made it and made it together. Hopefully she will keep her love for cooking and be just as good as her daddy is. :-) I want my little girl to be very well rounded and I hope that she continues to have that enthusiasm to learn all types of things in life.

Well, there isn't much more to report... TOM (time of month) watch is still in effect. I am hoping that my friend rears it's ugly head this week... so that I am get on the program with the fertility treatment. 
As more time passes, I feel that my opportunity to get pregnant is becoming less and less. 
Hopefully this will work and we will have the blessed opportunity to welcome another addition to our family.

I guess I will end this entry here since there isn't much to write...
Have a great day and hasta la proxima! 

Veterans Day

It has been a great couple of days.
I had a long weekend away from work and plenty of time spent with my loved ones.

Friday night was spent at home with the two loves, just hanging out with them. When I got home, the hubby had dinner ready and we feasted on a great meal.
After putting the princess to bed, it was just a vegging night in front of the television.

Saturday... woke up a little late - thankfully - and ran a couple of errands. And then it was another night at home with the two loves. The hubby and I watched a show called The League on Netflix until the wee hours of the night. The show is hilarious!!

Sunday... after getting up a little late, we had breakfast together and then got ready to get out of the house.
We took the princess to Barnes and Noble since it had been a while since we had taken her.
Afterwards we walked around the open mall and walked into Petsmart. We got Mayalis a new fish - a new beta fish. Then we went to late lunch to Red Robin.
When we got home, I took the princess yo to the grand-parental units and then the hubby and I took off for a run at the park - in the rain. It was great!! I loved running on the gravel since it was soft.
Then it was another night watching The League on Netflix. That show is addicting and hilarious.

And here we are on Monday... my day off. Got up a little late and helped the hubby get ready for work.
Then it was a day of cleaning up, laundry and making dinner. And the food came out pretty good if you ask me. LOL!!
Now I'm in bed... and can't wait to close my eyes.
Time to get relaxed for work tomorrow.

Only 2 weeks until my birthday... 12 days until my party and 9 days until Thanksgiving.
And only 4 weeks until the hubby's birthday!! How exciting!!

Good night!!

The day after...

And boy am I sore!!! But I am loving this feeling!
The run last night with my new found friend, Liz, and the hubby went great!

We walked half the park and we ran half the park. The last time I did that was back in the summer and I didn't do as much I did last night.

The hubby, myself and Liz after our run

During the run, my lungs felt like they were filled with fire. My thighs felt like they were going to give out on me. My feet felt like they just wanted to stop me from going any further. But despite feeling like that, I pushed through those terrible feelings and started talking to myself to pump myself up about finishing. I needed to do this for myself and I needed to finish this run.
We circled the park 3 times and if we would have done the park 3 more times, we would have completed the 3 miles that we will be running on the 1st. But that's okay, I don't want to push myself more than I can handle right now.
It was just great being out and running - which I am praying that I will finally master after so long.

After the run, the hubby and I walked home and I have to say that it was SO cold!! LOL! I didn't feel cold while running but once I was just cooling down, I did feel that cold air around me. I couldn't wait to get home and get some warm food into my stomach and take a warm shower to loosen up my muscles and of course to get warm too!


And here we are today... the 9th day in the month of November. Only 17 days until my 35th birthday. YIKES!! LOL!! And only 22 days until my first race! YIPPEE!! LOL! And I am looking forward to both things.
Life is just getting better and better as the days go by.

Another weekend with no real plans... and I am okay with that. I was hoping to go out every single weekend in November to celebrate but when your birthday is in a month that has a holiday, it makes it really hard to get people to get together to just hang out. That's okay... I don't know why I am making a big deal about my birthday anyway but I can't back out of my plans for everyone to get together on the 24th now. LOL! It's nice when people get together and have fun.


Here's something that I have been wanting to say/ask... how can you claim to be something when you really aren't? Be it a title, something that you've done or claim to have done or just pretend that you are something that you aren't.
I just watch things unfold before me - be in face-to-face or even on Facebook - and I am just amazed on how people like to portray themselves or their relationships. OMG... if things aren't the way that they really are, don't claim to the world that they are. UGH!! I hate when people act this way. Remember, you can only fool yourself about something for so long before you look like a complete idiot - or someone points out the obvious, that you are lying not only to others, but to yourself.

Okay... I'm off my soapbox. ;-) Not that anything is going to happen about this... just people need to realize that they can't claim something that isn't real or isn't really there.

Well, it's been a long day already and I should get back to what I was doing earlier... so, hasta la proxima! Happy Friday!