I ranted... And I felt good

I went on Facebook last night and ranted!

I didn't mean to, but after reading a couple of posts, I just lost it.

There are people that I know that just talk about nothing but food or talk about how they can’t do anything because they are “fat”. I couldn’t help but put this status message out there last night: Ugh… get off the couch, stop talking about food and do something good for your health! It doesn’t take much to do that! I hate lazy!

I only got a few posts from people, more the question of who I was referring the statement to. But I didn't want to mention the two people that annoy me with their posts about food and their lack of energy, so I just mentioned that it was a general statement.

And I said the following after someone posted that they agreed with my status message: People get on Facebook to complain about not being able to do things because of their weight or just talk about nothing but good… just annoying. There is no excuse to be lazy.

Isn’t it true, though? There is no excuse to be lazy!

I know that the two people that I am referring to don’t work… they are at home all day. Can’t you just get out of the house and walk… walking does wonders! One of them has two young children, so she has TWO reasons to get up and go! Go play with your children… chase them around the yard/park/block. But do SOMETHING !!!

The other one has one child in high school and another in elementary… which they are both in school full time, so she could easily get some real exercise in. And you don’t even need a gym membership for that. Sitting in front of the TV, telling the Facebook world what you are watching and what you are about to stuff in your mouth isn’t exercise!

I don’t know… am I being mean? I am not trying to stand on my high-horse (because I don’t have one) but I have always tried to be active. I might not be the best at the gym but I try. I would go to the gym every day if I can go take Zumba… but there are times that I can’t make the Zumba class because I am working.

And these two people are the first ones on Facebook complaining… that they can’t find clothes that fit them. That they hate the way that they look. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! There is no easy fix for something if you don’t start doing something about it.

And in the same breathe that they are complaining, you will see another post that they are craving a HUGE Italian beef or some chili-cheese fries or something else. Hey, I’m all about eating good tasting food, but if do nothing but eat and not exercise, you don’t have the right to complain about your weight! Believe me, I would eat some chili-cheese fries, but I know that I would need to work out those same fries that I just ate… but it would totally worth it because I know that I just earned the right to eat them.

I don’t know… I guess I am being mean. I just don’t believe that there is an excuse for someone that doesn’t do something about their health but wants to do nothing but complain about it.

Feeling inspired!!

February 28, 2012

WOW!!! I lost the 0.2 that I gained from last week. I am happy about that. Even though both Joel and I thought for sure that I would have lost more since I am more active but a loss is a step in the right direction. That’s for sure!

This weekend was great!

On Friday, even though I had planned on getting a manicure, it didn’t happen. I drove to the place that I was going to go to right after work but I couldn’t find parking in their parking lot or in the two surrounding streets. So I ended up just driving home and waiting for the family to get home from their outing that afternoon. Then it was dinner at my mom’s house because Joel
had a gathering with some co-workers that night and it was just a girls’ night in. I hung out with Mayalis and it was so nice! I went to bed around midnight.

On Saturday, I had a full day ahead of me. I woke up early, and got myself all ready long before Mayalis was awake. Joel worked that morning so he was gone early. Mayalis and I had breakfast and we were out the door with my mom later.

I had my make-up appointment at 3pm so I made sure to have some lunch prior to that. And can I tell you that I loved being pawed all over for my make-up consultation! It took him an hour to do it because he said that he wanted to make sure that it was “perfect”! LOL!! I loved it all!

After the hour, we were done and onto finishing up my errands. I finally found an outfit that I loved –just forgot about getting some dressy pants for the occasion –but the top was great! I cannot wait to wear it again!

Saturday night was awesome! We had dinner and it was so yummy! Even though I went over my daily points, my activity points kicked in and I even earned ADDITIONAL activity points for all the dancing that I did that night! I believe that I earned an additional 10 points for just the dancing alone! I didn’t even count all the walking I did during the day that earned me another 18 points!

Then it was family funday on Sunday! We went to the aquarium for the first time as a family. It was a blast… and all that walking earned me another 10 activity points! I was on a roll earning activity points.

In total for just Saturday and Sunday, I earned 38 points! And for the whole week, I earned a WHOPPING 59 activity points!!! I don’t think that I will be breaking that anytime soon, but my goal is to have at least 30 activity points a week, above the suggested 14 points a week.

After going to the gym and last night’s meeting, I was struck with some lightening in my soul. I know that I didn’t lose a lot (there were TWO great 5 pound losses at the meeting!) but it inspired me to get to that huge loss streak that I want to get to.

I know that I didn’t make it to my double digit loss for this month, and there is no one to blame but myself. I am getting off track and I can’t do that if I want to gain my self-confidence and look better for myself.

So with March just around the corner, I have that goal set inside of me more than ever! I want to see a bigger difference in my face… in my body… in my attitude! I have the tools to do it… so what am I waiting for?!?!

Tonight’s gym schedule will be the treadmill the the elliptical and work on my abs. So on top of the already 11 activity points that I have earned from last night’s gym session, I will be earning even more! Just need to plan on Wednesday’s session and see what I do on Thursday too! YIPPEE!!!

I am so going to do this for myself… Just like they said last night at the meeting… If you would started when you thought about it, you would have been done by now.

And that’s where I want to be… Done by now!

02/24/2012

February 24, 2012
I didn’t work out yesterday but I really wanted to be in the pool and after waiting around for over 20 minutes in the hot tub (yes, I had a view of the pool from there! LOL!!), the guys that were in the pool never came out! UGH! And since I didn’t bring any other clothes for working out in the actual gym, I went home.
Thankfully the weather that was scheduled for yesterday evening didn’t come until later in the night and it didn’t take me too long to get home. The bad weather just came later in the evening, when I was already inside of my house, and I didn’t see it until this morning. And boy was it ugly! Snow and rain mixture isn’t the best thing for the morning commute. But I was lucky didn’t get to work late this morning… even though I was hoping for a school day! My thought on this type of weather is to just come down and make it worth my while! LOL!
But on a whole different note…
I was reading some blogs yesterday and noticed that I should be changing my whole view on life and the way that I should be writing this.
There are so many blogs out there that are just so uplifting about the way that people feel about different issues and how their struggle with weight loss has changed their way of thinking so much or how their struggle has showed them so much and made their life so much better. They travel more. They explore their desires more. They know what they want to do and see the road on how to get their so much easier.
And here I am, on the same road as many of these people are and I can’t see as clearly as they do. I want people to see me differently… I want to look at myself differently.
I want to explore my writing more. I want to be well versed on speaking so that when it comes out on paper, I know exactly what I want to say. Not just throw something together and hope that people know what I am talking about – not just “wonder” if they understand what I am saying.
I want to be able to stand in front of crowd of people and not feel like I am rambling on and on about a topic – and they wonder if I am EVER going to get to the point. Will I ever get to that point in my life that I am not rambling? Darn it! I’m rambling now! UGH!
I don’t want to dwell on the things that I did in the past that I can’t see the things that I need to focus on in front of me. I don’t want to continue to mess up my life that I can’t come back from the mistakes that I’ve done. I want to be a positive influence on my daughter (and any future children that I might have!). I want to be the one that she looks up to. I want her to know that all the sacrifices that I am making now are for her future. And of course for my future, because there are just so many things that I want to accomplish and if I don’t start doing them, I will never finish them!
I am so disappointed in myself in being strayed away from school when I was younger. I should have been done by now! I would have been done by now. Who knows where I would be in my career, but at least I would have my schooling completed if I would have stayed on track.
I should have stayed on track thing with this weight loss struggle. I wouldn’t be looking in the mirror with a disgusted look on my face because I am just not happy with my body.
I am just so upset with myself!!
I am the one that has held me back from so many wonderful things that I could have done. But there is nothing that I can do about it now. The only thing that I can possibly do is not fall into the same traps that lured me into those bad choices that I made before – that have led me up to here now.
Not only have I been my own best friend, I have been my own worst enemy. I am the one that has done this to me. No matter how much I try to say if it wasn’t for so-and-so coming into my life, I could have done this or that – in the end, I am the one person that is charge of my fate. I am the one in charge of my destiny. I am the one in charge of my decisions. And because of those bad choices that I made while younger, I am in the position that I am in now.
I am VERY unhappy with myself – both physically and mentally.
And that is something that I am hoping to fix this year. That is why I have declared this the year of MELI! This is the year that I make the changes that I need to make in order to finally become happy with me.
I’ve struggled for so long now about “loving” myself unconditionally. I have no issues or problems loving those around me unconditionally but it’s me! I am the one that I cannot love. And I guess that’s where a lot of my problems stem from, my lack of self love.
This journey that I am taking – and admitting to the world – will hopefully bring me to the point in my life that I am happy with myself. Get to that point that I want to look in the mirror and have that confidence that I have longing for.

02/23/2012

February 23, 2012
I started writing yesterday and never finished… but I’m kind of glad that I didn’t. I started off very negative and that’s not the way that I want to start or end my days while I am on my journey.
I thought because of my back pain, I wasn’t going to be able to make it to the gym but I made the attempt. Even though I asked one of the personal trainers at the gym what I should do to strengthen my back because of my back pain (they suggested that I go home! LOL!) but they said that I can do some cardio but not to push myself. So I jumped (not literally, LOL!) on the treadmill for 40 minutes. It was a little painful but I got through it… so today, my back doesn’t bother me as much as it did the last three days so going to the pool… I might swim, I might not – depending if there is a spot to swim – but I will go to the hot tub and soak for a little while. That should help my muscles a bunch.
Last night, after getting home from picking up the monkey at my mother-in-law’s house, I had dinner at my parents’ house and then it was downstairs I went to tackle all the laundry that hadn’t been put away and boy was there a lot to do! But I am glad that I finally got that done… just doing things little by little.
I am so looking forward to the weekend. I am going to find myself a nice outfit to wear on Saturday night for dinner out with some friends and the hubby and dancing afterwards. So excited about it! I guess this whole weight loss journey has taken my attitude to a whole other level and I’m okay with that.
I might even make an appointment to have my make-up done for that night too! YIPPEE!! I am getting excited by the moment! Thank goodness tomorrow is already Friday because I can’t keep still! LOL! I just called to make the appointment but the guy that I got the card for a make-up consultation isn’t in until 1:00pm so left a message for him to call me back. Hopefully he can get me in on Saturday.
But on another note, the weather here is supposed to get really bad… there is supposed to be a bad snow storm hitting our area around 6:00pm, so I can’t stay at the gym too long. I don’t want to be caught in that mixture of rain and snow that we are supposed to be getting. The last time I was in a bad snow storm, it took me 3 ½ hours to get home! I was so upset and tired at the same time while in the car the whole ride home… thank goodness for phone calls in the car while driving!
And hopefully tomorrow – if the weather doesn’t screw up my plans – I will use up one of my gift certificates for a manicure. My nails (and cuticles) are in desperate need of a good manicure. My nails are WAY too short for my liking and it’s making typing a struggle – I’m used to having longer nails while typing and this feeling not having long nails while typing is just creeping me out. LOL! It’s been so long since my nails have been this short, so I need to get them to grow long again and starting them off on the same length should be just the ticket for that.
Well, it’s still early in the day and I don’t have much to write – if you consider what I just wrote a little. LOL!
Maybe I’ll write again today or just wait until tomorrow.
What are your plans for the upcoming weekend?

02/21/2012 - Part II

February 21, 2012 – Part II

Starting weight: 233.2
Current weight: 225.8
Loss/gain this week: +0.2
Total pounds loss since start: -7.4

Okay, I wrote this morning that I had a minor setback but after reading a few blogs throughout the day, I am not alone. In more ways than one, we are all in the same boat. We all have insecurities that we have to live with in life, in love and within ourselves. We are all just different versions of those insecurities… but we are all one, big happy Weight Watchers family.

I love reading about others gains and losses… it inspires me. It shows me that I so much more ahead of me to enjoy. I have so many opportunities to make things happen for myself. I have so much more to live for in the future.

Yes, most of us know at least one person that we look at and see that they don’t have those weight issues that we are so hung up on (but are taking care of with WW) but we don’t see everything that they do. They don’t have the weight issues but they have other issues that they might be dealing with in silence, like many of us did with our own weight loss.

Yes, most of us know someone that is need of help losing weight. But no matter how much we try to help, there might be something embedded within them that we just don’t see. For those that have that problem, I say, seek God. He will help you on your path and help you make the right decision. I know that I finally told HIM that I was tired of being overweight (in the obese part of the chart at the doctor’s office), I was tired not being able to keep up with my daughter, I am tired of the chest pains that I am still experiencing because of the extra weight that I am carrying… and He had me stay home one day and I saw the light – in the form of Dr. Oz and Jennifer Hudson on the television discussing Weight Watchers. Something inside of me clicked… and even though I haven’t lost all that much, I am happy with my current loss and I hope that I am able to continue on my mission to a more happier and thinner me.

Yes, some of know that one person that just brings you down, no matter how happy you might be that day – you DREAD just seeing them because they never have anything positive to share. Everyone is out to get them. Everyone around them is beneath them. Everyone else is at fault for their unhappiness.
To those people I say… be gone!
I have taken the bull by the horn and have decided not to associate myself with people like that.
It’s like most of our mom’s said to us growing up… if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
And even though some other people I know associate with this person, I rather not put myself in that persons’ presence… my life has changed so much for the better ever since I decided to do that.

It does take a lot of time and energy to get life the way that you feel comfortable with… but when you want the type of life that you are proud of, then that takes even more thought process to it. You must walk through the weeds in order to find those flowers that want to be in your life. Those flowers that are a positive influence in your life are the ones that we sometimes overlook.
Those weeds can be anyone… family, friends, co-workers… but we must do right for ourselves because no one is going to do it for you. You must take your life back from those that want to drag you down with them.

I’ve never been a very confident person… WOW! I can finally say that! Just typing it out like that made it ever more evident to me that I need to boost my confidence more. And that is something that I am working on one day at a time.

My husband has noticed a huge change in my attitude and my mother has noticed that I wearing my clothes differently. I have some confidence about certain things. Like when I go out, I am spending hours looking for the “perfect” outfit when before I would just throw on anything I saw. I take the time to put on my make-up, fix my hair. I look forward to the nights out with my husband. Like this upcoming Saturday, we have a dinner reservation with some friends and I’ve been thinking about what I am going to wear for over a week now! YIKES! I’ve never been “that” girl before.

I think that for my own prom, I picked out my dress two weeks before and only because my godmother said that she would make it for me… I would have waited until the last minute to pick something out.

I am not saying that I have the perfect outfit for this weekend, but I am sure that I will be searching for something on Saturday, and I might even schedule an appointment for a make-up consultation that afternoon too! We shall see… I have to remember to bring the card for the guy that I met so I can call. LOL!

And I hope that a year from now... maybe sooner... I can finally be the person that I know is trapped inside of me.

02/21/2012

February 21, 2012
UGH! I cannot believe that I gained when I went to my W/I last night! Okay, so it wasn't a HUGE gain (0.2 pounds) but I still gained. My leader said that it could have been because of the jeans that I was wearing, but still... I am on a mission here, people!! There is no looking back to the old Meli... I only want to see the new Meli in front of me.

That's the whole reason that I joined WW... not to see the scale numbers go up!

So... I've had my breakfast already and someone here at work decided to bring in donuts. I am not going to lie, but I did grad a 1/4 of one but I am prouder of the fact that I tossed it in the trash instead of eating it. :-) Baby steps, Meli... baby steps.

I am just so proud of myself... and all the accomplishments that I've recently had since I started WW. I love what WW has done for me. I am finally seeing a different self. I am finally seeing the goals that I have set for myself coming to life.

I need to buckle up this week not mess up... I really want to look nice for my daughter's 2nd birthday and that is just 2 months away. And mind you, I said NICEbecause I will not be even close to what my GOAL weight will be in April. LOL! So at least if I look nice, I will feel even better for my 4 year anniversary in May... and hopefully I will look ROCKIN' for that! LOL!

I've had this dress in my closet that my husband bought for me I believe that it was for our first summer as husband and wife and I can tell you that I still have the tags on it! :-( And one of my goals is to wear it this summer! It is a very sexy dress... and I want to have the confidence to be able to wear it, but I won't have that until I lose my first 20 pounds! Still have a ways to go before I hit that mark, but hopefully one day this summer I will be able to say that I have made it to that mark and I will be able to post myself in that dress.

One thing I have been able to do more often is walk with my head held higher... higher than I have ever held it. And I have to thank WW for their program and Jennifer Hudson for being on Dr Oz on the day that I was at home watching him. If it wasn't for me being at home because of a migraine (and just feeling terrible about going into work!), I would have never thought that I have gotten this far. I sat there and cried my eyes out because I just wanted to have all this weight come off (magically) and didn't know where to turn... and there comes out Jennifer Hudson looking fabulous and all my worries about how I was going to get this weight off finally clicked... WEIGHT WATCHERS! If it worked for her, it could possibly work for me... and it has been! I don't know why I didn't try this earlier! Probably because I wouldn't have stuck to it... but God put this opportunity in front of me at the right moment, and I am glad that I picked up the signals to do something about it.

I've gained some more confidence over the last few months... especially since finding about my menopause sentence. I had the confidence to cut my hair short (my profile picture is the first picture that I took the Monday after I cut it) and this new picture is from my new cut from Friday - I just took it this morning. I cut it shorter than the first time... and everyone seems to like it.

Everyday I am forced to look at myself in the mirror... and its with each and everyday that I find the courage to finally like myself. I am praying for the strength to one day to look in the mirror and love the person that is staring back at me. And I know with time, I will find the strength and courage to do just that... say that I am finally happy with myself.

February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine’s Day!
It’s been a while since I wrote so I guess I have a lot of writing to do.
I ended January on the right foot with a weight loss of 5 pounds.
I’ve started February on a great foot too! So far this month I’ve lost a total of 2.6 pounds as of yesterday. I am on a roll and I hope to stay on that. I am hoping that I can lose a total of 10 pounds this month. So I am on a mission to get these numbers into the double digits for this month. I really want to look nice for Mayalis’ 2nd birthday in April… and look FABULOUS for our 4 year wedding anniversary. ☺
I am still trying to start my book. I still haven’t decided on what I want to write about so writing will be difficult until I figure that out. But I do have the paper that I want to write on. LOL!!
I am still deciding on what to do about school. I’ve received some of the literature that I requested online but I haven’t had a chance to go over it. I need to make time to go over all the literature so that I can decide on what to do.
My gym experiences have been a little slacking but I am going to be back on schedule today… I have to get back on schedule if I want to lose this week and make it to the double digits by the end of this month. So… gym I come – tonight after work! LOL!
I started looking through some of my clothes again but realized if I start taking out more of my clothes, I won’t have anything to wear to work or even outside of the house period.
Mayalis is getting so big! She was 22 months on Sunday… but I didn’t let anyone know that out loud. LOL! She will be 2 in just 2 months! I can’t believe how quickly time has passed… my baby will soon be speaking more clearly in just a few months.
We have been practicing on getting pregnant… and having fun doing so. LOL! Hopefully we can get pregnant without the help of medication or of doctors. I really want to see myself pregnant again. I enjoyed it so much. I guess I should check sometime this month if I am actually pregnant with a test… but I think that I am going to hold off on doing that.
This past weekend was great!
On Friday, Joel took me to a restaurant called Chicago Chop House with my cousin Juan and his girlfriend Lisa. After dinner we went out for drinks and then took in a burlesque show. It was so much fun! I wouldn’t mind doing that whole night over again.
Then on Saturday, after running some errands, went over to Karla’s house for Kailene’s 8th birthday party. And it was a great time there too! Mayalis had a great time hanging out with all her cousins.
Then on Sunday, we went to the Chicago Auto Show with Ethan and Joshua… we had a fantastic time. We didn’t get the boys home until a quarter to 9pm! I’m sure that my brother was freaking out since the boys had school on Monday morning. LOL!
And now back to work this week…
And this weekend has already filled up for me.
Saturday night, my sister-in-law Jackie and her mom Cindy are having a Tupperware party.
The jewelry show is this weekend and my mom and I (and a couple of her friends) are going on Sunday.
Then I don’t work on Monday, so going to head to Ikea and have some fun there. Going to take Mayalis to the play area there and let her have some fun there.
And pretty soon we will be in March and a whole bunch of other things to come out… like Jahayra’s baby shower on the 11th! OMG… I can’t believe that she’ll be having that baby soon! How time flies.
Now my goals are clear for this month:
• Hit double digits for weight loss
• Open the literature for school and see what is available for me
o Maybe even make a decision
• Get to the gym as much as possible this month
• And still have fun while I am getting all this done! ☺


So I will end this entry here… wishing everyone a wonderful Valentine’s Day! Not just today, but every day of your life. ☺ <3

February 19, 2012

Well, it's been a few days since I've posted. Tomorrow is weekly weigh-in day... and I'm looking forward to seeing any additional pounds come off.

I've been noticing a change in my attitude, which is a good thing. I've been acting better. I've been dressing better and I've even started wearing more make-up. Not a whole ton of make-up but I've been making an attempt to look better before I leave the house.

This whole weight loss attempt has made me think about things in a whole different way. And I am so liking it.

My goals are becoming more apparent to me now and I am striving so much harder to achieve them.

I told the hubby on Friday that I wanted to go back to school... he was so proud of me to hear those words. He said that he would need to find out how it could be done since I would get the classes at 90% off... WOW!!! And why didn't I do this before - of yeah, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do and it wasn't until recently that either one of us were able to go back to school so cheaply. He actually can go for free - and I hope that he takes advantage of it. I believe that he is.

I am looking into other ways of getting out of the job that I am currently in... but I need to get a whole lot of other things in order before I can do that. And since I've been the one that has been at my job the longest, until we buy a house, I am stuck where I am at until the mortgage is approved and we have signed on the dotted line. But we need to get a lot of things in order before we even start looking at houses. And I am hoping that we can start that sooner than later.

Well, back to the whole reason I started this blog... my weigh loss.

Things weren't that bad this weekend. I went out on Friday with the hubby to meet up with some old friends and even though we met up at a bar, I didn't have one alcoholic drink. I am so proud of myself. And we went ended up at another bar, I was starting to get hungry. So I ordered so food but thankfully because of the "bone-head" waitress, she didn't remember to put in the order, I was saved from the many points that I would have wasted eating it.

Saturday, I went to two parties and have to say that even though I enjoyed a few chips, I didn't over do it at either house.

Wish that WW would give you kudos for making it through the day while at a party without going over your point value of the day.

And today (Sunday), I stayed at home all day and the hubby cooked a delicious cheeseburger soup... and even though I had breakfast and lunch before hand, I didn't go over my points for the day either.

So I ended my week with not only all my activity points, I didn't touch my weekly points either.

Hopefully tomorrow's weigh in will show me how GREAT I have been doing!