YIPPEE!!! I did it! I made it through my first outside of the house dinner! I am so proud of myself. And even though I worked out all week for the extra points just to cover myself, I didn’t even have to use them! I over compensated for the amount of rolls that I had actually ate and I still came in under my points for the day.
My next biggest challenge will be the scale on Monday night when I go in for my weekly weight in at the center. YIKES!!! I pray that all the working out and eating well all week has paid off.
My next challenge will be tonight when I go to the movies. And even though I am not as afraid as I was last night, I am praying that tonight goes as smoothly as last night.
And I can’t believe that I have been going out so much lately! I love this. Group outings, hanging out with my girlfriends… what else is on the calendar? Tonight should be fun for all that are joining me. My mom, my friend Jessica and my other friend Lisa are all joining me in seeing One for the Money, hopefully the first of many of the Janet Evanovich’s great book series that come to the big screen. Janet Evanovich is my favorite author and the author of 18 (yes, count them 18!) books in the Stephanie Plum series. I love that series. I am currently reading number 17 and have number 18 here at the house waiting for me to read. So seeing the first book, One for the Money, on the big screen is very exciting for all us Stephanie Plum fans.
This week at work was very stressful but I was able to keep myself calm through it all. Especially it being the first full week that I have worked since the week of December 12th. LOL!!
On another note, I looked at Mayalis yesterday and was just truly amazed on how big my little girl is getting. She looked so LONG to me yesterday. I thought that I was going to cry just by looking at her. So when we came downstairs from my mom’s house, no TV’s were turned on and it was just she and I playing on the bed. I love to hear that little girl laugh. Her laugh is so contagious, OMG! I love everything about her… even though at times she can drive me completely insane, I would change anything about anything.
So okay… explain to me while everyone else is sleeping, including everyone upstairs (my mother and father live upstairs and Mayalis is upstairs since my mom took care of last night; Joel and I live downstairs), and I’ve been awake since 8am! Why can’t my body allow me to sleep in just once? ☹ So annoying. I just want to sleep in like the rest. I am even yawning because I am tired… but of course my body has a different story. There goes my stomach growling! UGH! I can never catch a break! LOL!
Well since its still early… there isn’t much more to write. I will write again tomorrow or even wait until Tuesday. Maybe I’ll wait until then so that I have more to write about, especially with my weigh in on Monday night.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
January 11, 2012
January 11, 2012
WOW… I can’t believe that it’s been almost a month since I am written in my journal. That’s totally not cool!
Well, I guess I will have to catch you up on what’s been going on since the last time I wrote. I was off of work for 11 straight days… which was wonderful. We got out of work on 23rd of December and I didn’t come back until January 3rd.
Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were very nice. Christmas Eve we went to my aunt Diane’s house and boy did we have a grand ole feast. Christmas Day we were at home the majority of the day and then went over to my mother-in-law’s house for an early dinner. Then we went to my mom’s house to open more gifts and we had Chinese for dinner there. LOL! We had such a nice time with everyone.
New Years Eve was also a good time. We all went to Grissell’s house and we said good-bye to 2011 and hello to 2012.
And being off so many days, OMG, did I relax or what?!? LOL! My bedtime was no earlier than 3 or 4am. And we actually spent 4 days straight watching nothing but old PYSCH episodes on Netflix. It was GREAT! I saw episodes that I had never seen before.
So on January 1st, Joel and I started the closet project in Mayalis’ room. We decided to make the closet in that room bigger since it was so small. We still haven’t finished it but I am really hoping that we are going to be done with it soon. My clothes are all over the place and Mayalis hasn’t been able to sleep in her room since we started but she has slept with me in our bed a couple of times, which is super special.
On January 7th, I had my elementary school 20 year reunion at Can’s Bar in Bucktown. It was so nice to see everyone again after so long. Our assistant principal (who is now the principal at the school) and my 6th grade teacher (who is now assistant principal at the school) also came to the reunion. It was great! We all chatted. We all ate. And we all drank! ☺ Eat, drink and be merry is what I say! LOL! After we left Can’s, some of headed over the VFW that is not that far from the bar that we all met up at. And I have to say that it looked like everyone had a good time there as well.
Well, onto some more positive news… I have my second consultation with the fertility doctor this coming Friday, January 13th at 11am. And I have to admit, I am super nervous. I am not working that day (and neither is Joel), so we will be taking the little princess with us to the appointment (Dr Davies said that she wants to meet her) and we are going to make it a family day after the appointment. I wonder what we can do.
Joel had his analysis done and they called me to let me know that things are looking good on his end – which was wonderful news.
Joel is super excited about this appointment. I am hoping that this is the appointment that the doctor tells me what our next steps are. Hopefully this is the appointment that I get the medication that I need to get me ovulating again.
Fingers crossed that this is the day that Joel & I (and everyone else) has been waiting for. I’m surprised that I have been able to sleep because I am so excited about this.
Just last week I shared my news with some more people here at work… and I have to say that it doesn’t hurt to say those words anymore – menopause. Even though the doctor believes that they misdiagnosed me, but until we speak again to her, I won’t know for sure.
I really want to have another child, especially a brother or sister for Mayalis to grow up with. And she sure needs it right now! She’s such a handful that I sometimes don’t know what to do with her or myself! LOL! But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I am also scared on whether or not this medication will actually help me… I pray that we are able to get pregnant again. But it’s all in the hands of the Lord if HE wants this to happen for us.
I’ve happy to report that I have been going to the gym like I promised myself that I would do… just need to keep it up and I will finally see the results that I have LONGED to see for ages.
Another accomplishment… I made homemade soup for the first time ever! I am so proud of myself. The taste of the soup was great! Everyone had some enjoyed it so much.
Well, I still haven’t started the book that I want to write… The idea is there but I don’t know where to go with it. And the little “contest” that I mentioned before that I would have my friends help me out, well, they sort helped me but then they didn’t really. LOL! They want me to come up with everything that I wanted their help with so that they can say whether or not it’s a good idea. And to tell you the truth, I just haven’t been able to find time to write. I have some ideas, but I haven’t been able to get them onto paper so that I can build onto them. Some writer I am. ☹ I can’t keep up with this journal; I’m going to be able to start writing. UGH!
Maybe in the next couple of weeks I will be able to start writing… once we get the closet done and I get all the clothes and stuff into it. Hopefully once that is done, I will be able to feel a little better about the other things that I want to accomplish this year. I am trying to stay positive for my own state of mind, but sometimes things just bring me down. But I am really hoping that I can keep this positive flow that I have currently going… we’ve been invited to parties and gatherings and I want to everything that I can.
WOW… I can’t believe that it’s been almost a month since I am written in my journal. That’s totally not cool!
Well, I guess I will have to catch you up on what’s been going on since the last time I wrote. I was off of work for 11 straight days… which was wonderful. We got out of work on 23rd of December and I didn’t come back until January 3rd.
Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were very nice. Christmas Eve we went to my aunt Diane’s house and boy did we have a grand ole feast. Christmas Day we were at home the majority of the day and then went over to my mother-in-law’s house for an early dinner. Then we went to my mom’s house to open more gifts and we had Chinese for dinner there. LOL! We had such a nice time with everyone.
New Years Eve was also a good time. We all went to Grissell’s house and we said good-bye to 2011 and hello to 2012.
And being off so many days, OMG, did I relax or what?!? LOL! My bedtime was no earlier than 3 or 4am. And we actually spent 4 days straight watching nothing but old PYSCH episodes on Netflix. It was GREAT! I saw episodes that I had never seen before.
So on January 1st, Joel and I started the closet project in Mayalis’ room. We decided to make the closet in that room bigger since it was so small. We still haven’t finished it but I am really hoping that we are going to be done with it soon. My clothes are all over the place and Mayalis hasn’t been able to sleep in her room since we started but she has slept with me in our bed a couple of times, which is super special.
On January 7th, I had my elementary school 20 year reunion at Can’s Bar in Bucktown. It was so nice to see everyone again after so long. Our assistant principal (who is now the principal at the school) and my 6th grade teacher (who is now assistant principal at the school) also came to the reunion. It was great! We all chatted. We all ate. And we all drank! ☺ Eat, drink and be merry is what I say! LOL! After we left Can’s, some of headed over the VFW that is not that far from the bar that we all met up at. And I have to say that it looked like everyone had a good time there as well.
Well, onto some more positive news… I have my second consultation with the fertility doctor this coming Friday, January 13th at 11am. And I have to admit, I am super nervous. I am not working that day (and neither is Joel), so we will be taking the little princess with us to the appointment (Dr Davies said that she wants to meet her) and we are going to make it a family day after the appointment. I wonder what we can do.
Joel had his analysis done and they called me to let me know that things are looking good on his end – which was wonderful news.
Joel is super excited about this appointment. I am hoping that this is the appointment that the doctor tells me what our next steps are. Hopefully this is the appointment that I get the medication that I need to get me ovulating again.
Fingers crossed that this is the day that Joel & I (and everyone else) has been waiting for. I’m surprised that I have been able to sleep because I am so excited about this.
Just last week I shared my news with some more people here at work… and I have to say that it doesn’t hurt to say those words anymore – menopause. Even though the doctor believes that they misdiagnosed me, but until we speak again to her, I won’t know for sure.
I really want to have another child, especially a brother or sister for Mayalis to grow up with. And she sure needs it right now! She’s such a handful that I sometimes don’t know what to do with her or myself! LOL! But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I am also scared on whether or not this medication will actually help me… I pray that we are able to get pregnant again. But it’s all in the hands of the Lord if HE wants this to happen for us.
I’ve happy to report that I have been going to the gym like I promised myself that I would do… just need to keep it up and I will finally see the results that I have LONGED to see for ages.
Another accomplishment… I made homemade soup for the first time ever! I am so proud of myself. The taste of the soup was great! Everyone had some enjoyed it so much.
Well, I still haven’t started the book that I want to write… The idea is there but I don’t know where to go with it. And the little “contest” that I mentioned before that I would have my friends help me out, well, they sort helped me but then they didn’t really. LOL! They want me to come up with everything that I wanted their help with so that they can say whether or not it’s a good idea. And to tell you the truth, I just haven’t been able to find time to write. I have some ideas, but I haven’t been able to get them onto paper so that I can build onto them. Some writer I am. ☹ I can’t keep up with this journal; I’m going to be able to start writing. UGH!
Maybe in the next couple of weeks I will be able to start writing… once we get the closet done and I get all the clothes and stuff into it. Hopefully once that is done, I will be able to feel a little better about the other things that I want to accomplish this year. I am trying to stay positive for my own state of mind, but sometimes things just bring me down. But I am really hoping that I can keep this positive flow that I have currently going… we’ve been invited to parties and gatherings and I want to everything that I can.
January 17, 2012
January 17, 2012
Oh wow… what a wonderful weekend! Even though it didn’t start off the way that I wanted it to be – on Thursday morning, when I walked out to my car to go to work, I found that I had a boot on my car! OMG… I was so embarrassed!! Thankfully it was taken off, but I wasn’t able to make it into work because they came around 3:30 or so to take it off! I was so upset about the whole situation. Even though I got a ton of things done around the house, I would have rather been at work.
But because I was at home cleaning, I sat down and watched the episode of Dr. Oz that Jennifer Hudson (spokesperson for Weight Watchers) was on. And because of her inspirational words and the transformation that she made on Weight Watchers, I decided – thru tears – that I was going to join Weight Watchers too! So I texted Joel this long message telling him that I have come to my lowest point in my life (which was true) and my weight… and I needed to do something about it and NOW! I told him that I wanted to change my life for both him and our little princess monkey. But most importantly, I needed to finally do this for myself.
So on Friday (my scheduled day off), it was an emotional day for all!
I had my appointment with Dr Davies… and we walked out of there with some very good news. After she sat down with the three of us (Mayalis came with us to the appointment), she told me that she was going to put me on some medication to make me ovulate again. She also said that I would have another ultrasound and have some blood work done. Well, I have the ultrasound and while I am getting dressed, she came in and told me that she saw follicles of an egg. OMG! Are you serious??! She told me that she wouldn’t put me on any medication and that she thinks that I might be able to get pregnant on my own! So she told me buy an ovulation kit and keep an eye on it on the results so that I can get pregnant as soon as my body thinks it’s the right time.
She also told me that if I’m not pregnant in a month, to let her know… so crossing my fingers that I will get pregnant on our own! ☺
So Joel, Mayalis and I had a wonderful afternoon together as a family… it was great!
Joel got me my second pair of Dansko shoes that he said that he would get me as a Christmas present… and I know, it’s not Christmas anymore but I don’t care that it isn’t! LOL!
We had lunch together… and we went to a couple of stores to get some stuff too.
Finally, we went to Weight Watchers together and I signed up.
I weighed in at 233.2… OMG!!! I don’t think that I even got up that high while pregnant!! So since I signed up pretty late in the day, I decided to start up on Saturday morning as my first full day. And I decided that I would go to my first meeting on Monday.
Saturday was nice… I went out with my mom and Mayalis and met up with Joel at my aunt Diane’s house. He was going to be going to a concert that night with my cousin Ricky so it was just easier to meet up with him at Diane’s house since he was going to be going there to pick up Ricky. As usual, we had a wonderful time there… and of course with all the wonderful things that were being passed around, I was able to control my urges and keep myself in check with my points.
Sunday, we were at home all day working on the closet….I couldn’t wait until that thing was finally finished. Again sticking to my daily points… I even made 1-point (each) mini-chocolate chip cookies! And I don’t bake! LOL!! And I have to admit that they were pretty good… even Joel thought that they were pretty good.
Monday the 16th, we didn’t work so it was all about finishing up the closet! And I have to say that it is all done! I have all my clothes in my closet!! I am so happy with the end result of my hubby’s hard work. He did an absolute fabulous job on my closet. Mayalis even has more room in her bedroom to move around. It’s a great feeling! Now I just need to finish up the odds and ends of the mess that is around the house and I will feel even better.
But here was the icing on my weekend – I lost 1.2 pounds!!!!
YIPPEE!!!
I went to my first meeting last night and every week we are weighed in before the meeting starts. So when I got there, I took my coat, sweater and boots off and got on the scale… expecting to see the same number that I saw on Friday… but when the receptionist told me that I was down 1.2 pounds and that my PointsPoints value had gone down, I thought that she had made a mistake. I asked her to repeat herself and she told me that same thing… I had lost 1.2 pounds since joining on Friday the 13th of January. A member since the 13th of January, started on the 14th of January completely and here, now the 16th of January, I’m already down 1.2 pounds?!??! OMG!!! I am finally going to start seeing results!! Thank you Weight Watchers and thank you for being an inspiration, Jennifer Hudson!!
So here we are, January 17, 2012… and I am a whole 1.2 pounds lighter! I am so proud of myself! Now I can’t wait to see what next week’s results are going to be. I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I am going to see a brand new me this year!
2012 is going to be my year… this is going to a great year for me!
Oh wow… what a wonderful weekend! Even though it didn’t start off the way that I wanted it to be – on Thursday morning, when I walked out to my car to go to work, I found that I had a boot on my car! OMG… I was so embarrassed!! Thankfully it was taken off, but I wasn’t able to make it into work because they came around 3:30 or so to take it off! I was so upset about the whole situation. Even though I got a ton of things done around the house, I would have rather been at work.
But because I was at home cleaning, I sat down and watched the episode of Dr. Oz that Jennifer Hudson (spokesperson for Weight Watchers) was on. And because of her inspirational words and the transformation that she made on Weight Watchers, I decided – thru tears – that I was going to join Weight Watchers too! So I texted Joel this long message telling him that I have come to my lowest point in my life (which was true) and my weight… and I needed to do something about it and NOW! I told him that I wanted to change my life for both him and our little princess monkey. But most importantly, I needed to finally do this for myself.
So on Friday (my scheduled day off), it was an emotional day for all!
I had my appointment with Dr Davies… and we walked out of there with some very good news. After she sat down with the three of us (Mayalis came with us to the appointment), she told me that she was going to put me on some medication to make me ovulate again. She also said that I would have another ultrasound and have some blood work done. Well, I have the ultrasound and while I am getting dressed, she came in and told me that she saw follicles of an egg. OMG! Are you serious??! She told me that she wouldn’t put me on any medication and that she thinks that I might be able to get pregnant on my own! So she told me buy an ovulation kit and keep an eye on it on the results so that I can get pregnant as soon as my body thinks it’s the right time.
She also told me that if I’m not pregnant in a month, to let her know… so crossing my fingers that I will get pregnant on our own! ☺
So Joel, Mayalis and I had a wonderful afternoon together as a family… it was great!
Joel got me my second pair of Dansko shoes that he said that he would get me as a Christmas present… and I know, it’s not Christmas anymore but I don’t care that it isn’t! LOL!
We had lunch together… and we went to a couple of stores to get some stuff too.
Finally, we went to Weight Watchers together and I signed up.
I weighed in at 233.2… OMG!!! I don’t think that I even got up that high while pregnant!! So since I signed up pretty late in the day, I decided to start up on Saturday morning as my first full day. And I decided that I would go to my first meeting on Monday.
Saturday was nice… I went out with my mom and Mayalis and met up with Joel at my aunt Diane’s house. He was going to be going to a concert that night with my cousin Ricky so it was just easier to meet up with him at Diane’s house since he was going to be going there to pick up Ricky. As usual, we had a wonderful time there… and of course with all the wonderful things that were being passed around, I was able to control my urges and keep myself in check with my points.
Sunday, we were at home all day working on the closet….I couldn’t wait until that thing was finally finished. Again sticking to my daily points… I even made 1-point (each) mini-chocolate chip cookies! And I don’t bake! LOL!! And I have to admit that they were pretty good… even Joel thought that they were pretty good.
Monday the 16th, we didn’t work so it was all about finishing up the closet! And I have to say that it is all done! I have all my clothes in my closet!! I am so happy with the end result of my hubby’s hard work. He did an absolute fabulous job on my closet. Mayalis even has more room in her bedroom to move around. It’s a great feeling! Now I just need to finish up the odds and ends of the mess that is around the house and I will feel even better.
But here was the icing on my weekend – I lost 1.2 pounds!!!!
YIPPEE!!!
I went to my first meeting last night and every week we are weighed in before the meeting starts. So when I got there, I took my coat, sweater and boots off and got on the scale… expecting to see the same number that I saw on Friday… but when the receptionist told me that I was down 1.2 pounds and that my PointsPoints value had gone down, I thought that she had made a mistake. I asked her to repeat herself and she told me that same thing… I had lost 1.2 pounds since joining on Friday the 13th of January. A member since the 13th of January, started on the 14th of January completely and here, now the 16th of January, I’m already down 1.2 pounds?!??! OMG!!! I am finally going to start seeing results!! Thank you Weight Watchers and thank you for being an inspiration, Jennifer Hudson!!
So here we are, January 17, 2012… and I am a whole 1.2 pounds lighter! I am so proud of myself! Now I can’t wait to see what next week’s results are going to be. I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I am going to see a brand new me this year!
2012 is going to be my year… this is going to a great year for me!
January 18, 2012
January 18, 2012
Ahhh… another cold day here in the city of Des Plaines (where I work) and Chicago (the city where I live).
Okay… only 62 more days until spring!!! I cannot wait to see the sun shining all the time and the warmth of the air coming through my car window. Or even opening a window period to let a nice cool breeze come through – not a freezing chill.
I have been at work since 7:30 this morning and my feet have yet to warm up – and it’s almost 11:40am! UGH!! I just want to feel warm again. I’ve had oatmeal for breakfast (with a banana) for 3 whole points and a cup of tea with two teaspoons of sugar (for one more point). So this morning’s breakfast was only 4 points for me… and this afternoon’s lunch was a total of 12 points – I took about an ounce of popcorn that someone had brought in, so that cost me 3 points on top of the 7 points for the frozen Smart Ones dinner and the 2 points for the mini-cookies that I baked the other night. But I’m not feeling hungry anymore… which I am happy about.
Well, it’s now 1:13pm and my toes STILL haven’t warmed up… I wonder if I should be worried about that; probably just bad circulation or something.
It’s been a very trying day… I’ve been thinking a lot of my family and how much we can accomplish if I don’t have another child. But at the same time, I am thinking about the future of my little girl. Once Joel and I are gone from this world, she will have no family that is directly attached to her. She won’t have any direct cousins from Joel’s side since I really don’t think that his older brother Michael will ever have children of his own. The only direct cousins she has will be Ethan and Joshua - and they have each other. I can’t leave her alone in this cruel world. She needs the support of a sibling. There aren’t really any other children her age around the family. And she loves being around other kids, she has so much fun. And she is just so loving towards people… I can just imagine how wonderful she will be as a great older sister to either a little brother or little sister.
WOW... just typing that out made my eyes water.
On the other hand, as I have mentioned before, I would love to be able to take this weight off that I have been carrying around for so long for good! And I know that getting pregnant again isn’t going to help the weight situation and the weight is only going to go up.
Well, I guess the only thing that I can do right now is allow my body to make the decision on whether or not it wants me to become pregnant again.
I did get a call from my insurance company yesterday letting me know that the medication that the doctor originally wanted me to be on was approved and it will be arriving to my house on Friday. I was surprised about this since the doctor told me that I didn’t need to take anything so I called Dr Davies office and asked about this. They told me that to just hold onto the medication and wait to see in a month if I am pregnant or not. So I will have this crazy medication at my house until I decide to use it.
My mind is running around wondering what my next move should be… but I don’t know what that move should be.
I don’t want to seem selfish… but you walk the line with not wanting to be selfish and being selfish with these decisions.
Ahhh… another cold day here in the city of Des Plaines (where I work) and Chicago (the city where I live).
Okay… only 62 more days until spring!!! I cannot wait to see the sun shining all the time and the warmth of the air coming through my car window. Or even opening a window period to let a nice cool breeze come through – not a freezing chill.
I have been at work since 7:30 this morning and my feet have yet to warm up – and it’s almost 11:40am! UGH!! I just want to feel warm again. I’ve had oatmeal for breakfast (with a banana) for 3 whole points and a cup of tea with two teaspoons of sugar (for one more point). So this morning’s breakfast was only 4 points for me… and this afternoon’s lunch was a total of 12 points – I took about an ounce of popcorn that someone had brought in, so that cost me 3 points on top of the 7 points for the frozen Smart Ones dinner and the 2 points for the mini-cookies that I baked the other night. But I’m not feeling hungry anymore… which I am happy about.
Well, it’s now 1:13pm and my toes STILL haven’t warmed up… I wonder if I should be worried about that; probably just bad circulation or something.
It’s been a very trying day… I’ve been thinking a lot of my family and how much we can accomplish if I don’t have another child. But at the same time, I am thinking about the future of my little girl. Once Joel and I are gone from this world, she will have no family that is directly attached to her. She won’t have any direct cousins from Joel’s side since I really don’t think that his older brother Michael will ever have children of his own. The only direct cousins she has will be Ethan and Joshua - and they have each other. I can’t leave her alone in this cruel world. She needs the support of a sibling. There aren’t really any other children her age around the family. And she loves being around other kids, she has so much fun. And she is just so loving towards people… I can just imagine how wonderful she will be as a great older sister to either a little brother or little sister.
WOW... just typing that out made my eyes water.
On the other hand, as I have mentioned before, I would love to be able to take this weight off that I have been carrying around for so long for good! And I know that getting pregnant again isn’t going to help the weight situation and the weight is only going to go up.
Well, I guess the only thing that I can do right now is allow my body to make the decision on whether or not it wants me to become pregnant again.
I did get a call from my insurance company yesterday letting me know that the medication that the doctor originally wanted me to be on was approved and it will be arriving to my house on Friday. I was surprised about this since the doctor told me that I didn’t need to take anything so I called Dr Davies office and asked about this. They told me that to just hold onto the medication and wait to see in a month if I am pregnant or not. So I will have this crazy medication at my house until I decide to use it.
My mind is running around wondering what my next move should be… but I don’t know what that move should be.
I don’t want to seem selfish… but you walk the line with not wanting to be selfish and being selfish with these decisions.
January 19, 2012
January 19, 2012
OMG… I can’t believe it!!
YOU won’t believe it!!
I got my period yesterday while at the gym!!! I haven’t been on anything for almost a month now and it must have come down on its own. I am just in total awe of this!! I haven’t gotten a period, without the aid of medication, in more than 2 years.
The last time I had a period that wasn’t medically induced was before I got pregnant with Mayalis. So for me, this is huge; especially since I am not sure if this could be just the medications just running through my body or my own body menstruating on its own.
I am just so amazed about this…
Both Joel and my mom are very excited that it came down on its own. They believe that I am doing something right with Weight Watchers. It must be because of the pound that I lost, but could it be actually that? Could that one pound that I lost be the reason that I am menstruating again? Could I actually be sure that it’s that and not something else that caused my period to come on board with my body?
Whatever it is or whatever caused me to menstruate, I am going to have to see if I can get pregnant once this is over.
According to my phone application that tracks my menstruating days – funny to say that the app is actually called “My Days” – it claims that I should be ovulating sometime around February 16th. So I just might get pregnant around Valentine’s Day and I should have the baby around November or December. So I guess it will all have to wait to see if this is possible to happen.
Now it is all up to the Lord to see if HE sees it fit to make me a mother again.
OMG… I can’t believe it!!
YOU won’t believe it!!
I got my period yesterday while at the gym!!! I haven’t been on anything for almost a month now and it must have come down on its own. I am just in total awe of this!! I haven’t gotten a period, without the aid of medication, in more than 2 years.
The last time I had a period that wasn’t medically induced was before I got pregnant with Mayalis. So for me, this is huge; especially since I am not sure if this could be just the medications just running through my body or my own body menstruating on its own.
I am just so amazed about this…
Both Joel and my mom are very excited that it came down on its own. They believe that I am doing something right with Weight Watchers. It must be because of the pound that I lost, but could it be actually that? Could that one pound that I lost be the reason that I am menstruating again? Could I actually be sure that it’s that and not something else that caused my period to come on board with my body?
Whatever it is or whatever caused me to menstruate, I am going to have to see if I can get pregnant once this is over.
According to my phone application that tracks my menstruating days – funny to say that the app is actually called “My Days” – it claims that I should be ovulating sometime around February 16th. So I just might get pregnant around Valentine’s Day and I should have the baby around November or December. So I guess it will all have to wait to see if this is possible to happen.
Now it is all up to the Lord to see if HE sees it fit to make me a mother again.
January 24, 2012
January 24, 2012
WOW… It’s been a great week.
Last night I was told that I was down another 3.2 pounds for the week. That’s a total of 4.4 pounds since I started Weight Watchers!!! I am so excited. And after a weekend of eating, drinking and hanging out (I did dance at the birthday party!), I thought for sure that I didn’t lose a thing. My goal is to continue with at the minimum of 2 pounds per week… that would be the best thing for me.
I can’t believe that I didn’t do this earlier! I should have started this right after I had Mayalis… all the weight that I wanted to shed would have probably been gone by now. I probably wouldn’t be going through what I am going through right now. But I can’t dwell on something that I didn’t do; there is nothing that I can do about it now. I am just happy that I decided to finally do it.
At the rate that I am going, I am hoping to be at my goal weight by the summer… YIPPEE!!!
My way of looking at food has changed so much… I am looking at different ways of incorporating 0 point foods into my meals (0 point foods are most fruits and veggies). What a great way of expanding my meals by adding these foods so there is more to eat throughout the day.
And my water intake has gone up so much! I regularly drink water but I am now more aware of it and drinking it even more! And I am even aware of the dairy that I want to have every day. I feel terrible when I don’t get in my daily cup of soy milk. Silk chocolate milk is so yummy!! Mayalis is even drinking some with me when she sees me with it.
Both Joel and my mom are so proud of me… they know how much I am struggling with getting this weight off and they are my two biggest supporters. And I’m sure that if Mayalis knew what was going on, she would cheer me on too! LOL!!
I haven’t really told many people that I am doing the whole Weight Watchers program… I guess I will reveal that little bit of information when I have reached either my 5% or 10% goal. LOL!! For some reason when I tell people what I am doing to achieve my goals, I don’t get very far with them. And since I am not telling many people, I feel that I don’t have a lot of negative energy around me. It seems that people LOVE to see other people fail, but it is not going to happen to me this time around. I am going to see this thing all the way through. I am going to achieve something that I have been waiting to do for a very long time… lose this weight. ☺
Well, onto another conversation…
Well, now that my period is over, I now have to keep track on when my body is supposed to start ovulating. I am hoping that it actually happens because if it does, then that means that we will be able to get pregnant with another child. And that is the goal here… to have another child to care for and a sibling for Mayalis.
I am kind of nervous… what if my body doesn’t want to ovulate? I know that I have the medication at home, but I don’t want to take medication. I just want this to happen naturally. I feel that I can make this happen… but what if it doesn’t? I pray that things turn out the way that it’s supposed to be… the way that God believes that it should.
There is no other way that I see it… this is all God’s will for this to happen.
I know that science (the doctors) can always help things along, but do I want to go against what God and my body want to happen? Especially my body… I don’t want something terrible to happen to my unborn child, or even to me. I have a little girl that relies on me – I have to be there for her. I need to be there to see my little girl grow up. She needs to have her mommy around… And that’s why I am working so hard to get this weight off so that I can be there for her.
My outlook on life has changed so much since September… I see things so differently. I don’t want to sit around and wait for things to happen for me. I need to make them happen for me and my family. I want to grow as a family and as an individual. I need to do what is right for me. I need to do what I feel is good for myself.
I’ve already accomplished so much in such little bit of time… so what is next on my list of things to accomplish? School! Ugh… the hardest thing on my list to accomplish. This is the one thing that is going to take up the majority of my time away from my family. Do I start looking into what I want to study now or wait a little longer for that? Decisions, decisions… and decisions like this are never easy.
So… do I actually go back to school or do I take a course that I do on my own? Well, we all know how well I do with things that I do on my own. Not too well on the second suggestion. But I don’t have the time to head back to school… I have a family, I have Weight Watchers meetings, I have the gym and I still have to work through all this. When do I have time to go to school? UGH!!!!!!
I know that I started off at DeVry University… and I was just on their website looking at things that I might be able to go back and do, but none of things are interesting to me anymore. And to be honest, I don’t even know what interests me.
I went to another website to check out some other courses that I might be able to do… but like I mentioned, nothing is really catching my attention.
I know that I must do something for myself educational wise… if not, I won’t be happy with anything that I am currently doing. I will feel like a failure not only to myself, but to my family. I want to accomplish something great for myself… but if only I knew what that was.
I want my little girl to see her mom as someone that she can look up to… someone that accomplished things in her life, in spite of all the obstacles that were thrown at her. And don’t get me wrong, I LOVE school! I always have. Just that every time I am in a classroom, I get bored with what is being taught to me. I never retain anything that I learn past that day/evening/week. It’s said to say.
Even though I know a lot about some stuff, I am clueless on other things. I have seen other people put their whole lives on hold in order to get their education. But then again, these are people that already know what they want to study.
I’ve been searching on the internet up and down for different schools to attend… different areas of studies. I’ve even looked at some of the home correspondence courses on wedding coordinators, starting your own business, paralegal and one more thing but I can’t remember right now. I’m just not sure what I want to do, that’s the main thing. But who is to say that if I do find something that I want to study that I’ll be happy with that.
Joel was lucky… he knew exactly what he wanted to study, and he was able to find a job in it before he graduated so that he would already be set. That was just awesome.
I’ve been at my job for over 4 years now and no matter what I study, it is not going to go hand-in-hand with what I am currently in. I would have to start my career all over again… and who knows what age I will be when I am done. And really, who wants to start their career all over.
So I will wait for all the brochures to come in that I requested and see where I go from there… that’s probably the best way to make a decision. I’ve requested information from at least 2 schools… so let’s see what happens now.
I will just continue to concentrate on my working out and my Weight Watchers weight loss.
WOW… It’s been a great week.
Last night I was told that I was down another 3.2 pounds for the week. That’s a total of 4.4 pounds since I started Weight Watchers!!! I am so excited. And after a weekend of eating, drinking and hanging out (I did dance at the birthday party!), I thought for sure that I didn’t lose a thing. My goal is to continue with at the minimum of 2 pounds per week… that would be the best thing for me.
I can’t believe that I didn’t do this earlier! I should have started this right after I had Mayalis… all the weight that I wanted to shed would have probably been gone by now. I probably wouldn’t be going through what I am going through right now. But I can’t dwell on something that I didn’t do; there is nothing that I can do about it now. I am just happy that I decided to finally do it.
At the rate that I am going, I am hoping to be at my goal weight by the summer… YIPPEE!!!
My way of looking at food has changed so much… I am looking at different ways of incorporating 0 point foods into my meals (0 point foods are most fruits and veggies). What a great way of expanding my meals by adding these foods so there is more to eat throughout the day.
And my water intake has gone up so much! I regularly drink water but I am now more aware of it and drinking it even more! And I am even aware of the dairy that I want to have every day. I feel terrible when I don’t get in my daily cup of soy milk. Silk chocolate milk is so yummy!! Mayalis is even drinking some with me when she sees me with it.
Both Joel and my mom are so proud of me… they know how much I am struggling with getting this weight off and they are my two biggest supporters. And I’m sure that if Mayalis knew what was going on, she would cheer me on too! LOL!!
I haven’t really told many people that I am doing the whole Weight Watchers program… I guess I will reveal that little bit of information when I have reached either my 5% or 10% goal. LOL!! For some reason when I tell people what I am doing to achieve my goals, I don’t get very far with them. And since I am not telling many people, I feel that I don’t have a lot of negative energy around me. It seems that people LOVE to see other people fail, but it is not going to happen to me this time around. I am going to see this thing all the way through. I am going to achieve something that I have been waiting to do for a very long time… lose this weight. ☺
Well, onto another conversation…
Well, now that my period is over, I now have to keep track on when my body is supposed to start ovulating. I am hoping that it actually happens because if it does, then that means that we will be able to get pregnant with another child. And that is the goal here… to have another child to care for and a sibling for Mayalis.
I am kind of nervous… what if my body doesn’t want to ovulate? I know that I have the medication at home, but I don’t want to take medication. I just want this to happen naturally. I feel that I can make this happen… but what if it doesn’t? I pray that things turn out the way that it’s supposed to be… the way that God believes that it should.
There is no other way that I see it… this is all God’s will for this to happen.
I know that science (the doctors) can always help things along, but do I want to go against what God and my body want to happen? Especially my body… I don’t want something terrible to happen to my unborn child, or even to me. I have a little girl that relies on me – I have to be there for her. I need to be there to see my little girl grow up. She needs to have her mommy around… And that’s why I am working so hard to get this weight off so that I can be there for her.
My outlook on life has changed so much since September… I see things so differently. I don’t want to sit around and wait for things to happen for me. I need to make them happen for me and my family. I want to grow as a family and as an individual. I need to do what is right for me. I need to do what I feel is good for myself.
I’ve already accomplished so much in such little bit of time… so what is next on my list of things to accomplish? School! Ugh… the hardest thing on my list to accomplish. This is the one thing that is going to take up the majority of my time away from my family. Do I start looking into what I want to study now or wait a little longer for that? Decisions, decisions… and decisions like this are never easy.
So… do I actually go back to school or do I take a course that I do on my own? Well, we all know how well I do with things that I do on my own. Not too well on the second suggestion. But I don’t have the time to head back to school… I have a family, I have Weight Watchers meetings, I have the gym and I still have to work through all this. When do I have time to go to school? UGH!!!!!!
I know that I started off at DeVry University… and I was just on their website looking at things that I might be able to go back and do, but none of things are interesting to me anymore. And to be honest, I don’t even know what interests me.
I went to another website to check out some other courses that I might be able to do… but like I mentioned, nothing is really catching my attention.
I know that I must do something for myself educational wise… if not, I won’t be happy with anything that I am currently doing. I will feel like a failure not only to myself, but to my family. I want to accomplish something great for myself… but if only I knew what that was.
I want my little girl to see her mom as someone that she can look up to… someone that accomplished things in her life, in spite of all the obstacles that were thrown at her. And don’t get me wrong, I LOVE school! I always have. Just that every time I am in a classroom, I get bored with what is being taught to me. I never retain anything that I learn past that day/evening/week. It’s said to say.
Even though I know a lot about some stuff, I am clueless on other things. I have seen other people put their whole lives on hold in order to get their education. But then again, these are people that already know what they want to study.
I’ve been searching on the internet up and down for different schools to attend… different areas of studies. I’ve even looked at some of the home correspondence courses on wedding coordinators, starting your own business, paralegal and one more thing but I can’t remember right now. I’m just not sure what I want to do, that’s the main thing. But who is to say that if I do find something that I want to study that I’ll be happy with that.
Joel was lucky… he knew exactly what he wanted to study, and he was able to find a job in it before he graduated so that he would already be set. That was just awesome.
I’ve been at my job for over 4 years now and no matter what I study, it is not going to go hand-in-hand with what I am currently in. I would have to start my career all over again… and who knows what age I will be when I am done. And really, who wants to start their career all over.
So I will wait for all the brochures to come in that I requested and see where I go from there… that’s probably the best way to make a decision. I’ve requested information from at least 2 schools… so let’s see what happens now.
I will just continue to concentrate on my working out and my Weight Watchers weight loss.
Starting again...
I've been asked to start putting my journal on my blog... not sure if anyone will read it but I will start with the most recent one that I wrote.
January 26, 2012
This week has been great… I’ve already been to the gym three times this week and I’ve kept the promise that I was going to go four days a week. I am so proud of myself. Yesterday was sort of hard because I wanted to go home and just relax but I knew that it would be harder to go on Friday after work, so I made myself drive to the parking lot of the gym after work.
I am looking for more ways to make my weight loss even easier… besides the Weight Watchers and gym. I am so glad that I never decided to go the surgery route… I really think that I would have failed at keeping up with it.
I know that I have to buy some more multivitamins… I am running super low. Like I only have like 4 pills left in my jar.
I finished up my period earlier this week… so now just checking my urine with the ovulating kit that I purchased. According to my phone app (My Days), I should be ovulating starting on February 16th… but I’m still going to be checking with the kit. I might even buy another one since I am not sure that I will still have enough sticks that will check my urine until the 16th of next month. I have to get another one this weekend for sure, I don’t want to be caught without it.
The weather lately hasn’t been all that great. Just today, there is absolutely no sun out. How dreadful! I need the sun… I crave the sun… I love the sun! But what can you do, right? You can’t control the sun or the weather. ☹
I can’t believe how much a person’s attitude can change when they start to look at things through another set of their own eyes. I’ve been seeing things so differently lately. I see myself in a whole other light. I know that things haven’t been the greatest for me the last 6 months, but I trying to turn things around for myself. I need to do that, because I can’t keep bringing myself down.
I need to be a great role model for my daughter (and any future child that I might have). I need to show Mayalis that no matter what obstacles God might put in your way, you must have the strength and faith to know that you will get through it. And believe me, I have had my share of obstacles in my life. I’ve had my heart broken so many times. I’ve felt that I was never going to find happiness after it was ripped out of my life. I’ve felt that I wasn’t good enough for anyone to love because no one wanted to love me. But it was because I believed in God and knew that He had something wonderful in store for me that I was able to rise above it all.
And it’s weird because I was having this same conversation with two friends today… what hurts more, physical pain or emotional pain? I concluded that emotional pain hurts more, for me. Physical pain, for me, is easier to treat. You can take some type of pain killer and it will take some time, but the physical pain that you are going through right there and then will go away. But when it comes to emotional pain, those scars don’t go away so easily. I know that they don’t with me.
After my ex-boyfriend broke up with me, I was crushed! I thought for sure that it was over for me. It took me a year to be able to look another guy – and just look. I couldn’t even phantom the thought of having another relationship with someone. The hurt was just too raw. He was always in the back of my mind. And the reasoning behind why he didn’t want to be with me anymore (after 2 ½ years together) just didn’t click with me. And it still doesn’t, still after all these years. And we have both moved on with our lives. He and I have become friends on Facebook but I haven’t seen him in many years. I don’t think that I can ever see him in person. Even though I have seen him in person, but every time I think about the “excuse” that he gave me for breaking up our relationship, I just want to punch him! But it is what it is. This was my first real test of becoming stronger.
After that, I fell in love with another person that never became my boyfriend. We were very good friends, and he was the one that opened me up again. I told him my hopes and my fears, my dreams and my ideas. But I guess I wasn’t what he wanted at that point in our lives. And we went our separate ways. Even though throughout the years, we became friends again, things were never the same and I decided to let the friendship fade away. I never understood why he treated me the way that he did, and I might never understand it. But that’s okay… someday I expect that he will find happiness in his life because in reality, that’s all I really wanted for him – to be happy with the choices that he makes in his life. I know that he has made it known that he messed up not only the friendship that we had, but he knows that I was his one true love – something that he knows that he can never have again. But one thing I can do is credit this person for bringing me back to life because I never thought that I would be able to love again and even though I never was able to call this person “mine”, in my heart (at the time), he was.
And it wasn’t until many years after this person walked out of my life, I found the man that would really bring happiness to my life. The man that became my best friend became my fiancée and later become my husband – and now the father of my beautiful little girl. And even though yes, we’ve had our ups and downs, I love this man with all my heart. He is the one that is always looking out for my best interest. He is the man that wants me to grow into the best person that I possibly become. My monkey for life. ☺ This man is the man that I have been looking for my whole life. And when I finally told the Lord that I was done with putting myself out there, after I told the Lord that I was tired of being hurt for no reason by people that I thought that cared for me, He put Joel in my path. He put this wonderful (and stubborn) man in my path. We are currently walking down this path together with our wonderful little princess. He has been my rock when things in my life have been too much for me to handle. He is the one that reminds me that things can be worse (which they could be) and that I am stronger than I ever think possible. And for all that he does for me, I thank the Lord for bringing me a strong man into my life. A man that showed me that yes, I was put on this earth to be loved by someone. A man that showed me that yes, I am worthy to have someone stand by me and care for me, as I would so do so for them. I thank the Lord each and every day for Joel. And no matter what life throws at me (or us), I know that it will only make our relationship stronger.
The biggest test of our relationship was the day that I found out about my menopause. I thought for sure that he wouldn’t want to be with me anymore, but he surely proved me wrong in every aspect of that thought. Between him and my mother, I have been able to get through this. But it has been Joel that has jumped into this head first and researching everything and anything possible that can be done for me. I couldn’t even type the word “menopause” into the search bar on the internet at the time. He was the one that got me my pills and vitamins when I first found out about this. I will repeat this again, probably a hundred times, but he is my rock! And no matter where I go, he always will be.
And it is because of him and Mayalis (and some others) that I decided to lose weight, to write this journal… to become the best darn person that I can be. Because if they believe me, I need to believe in myself.
January 26, 2012
This week has been great… I’ve already been to the gym three times this week and I’ve kept the promise that I was going to go four days a week. I am so proud of myself. Yesterday was sort of hard because I wanted to go home and just relax but I knew that it would be harder to go on Friday after work, so I made myself drive to the parking lot of the gym after work.
I am looking for more ways to make my weight loss even easier… besides the Weight Watchers and gym. I am so glad that I never decided to go the surgery route… I really think that I would have failed at keeping up with it.
I know that I have to buy some more multivitamins… I am running super low. Like I only have like 4 pills left in my jar.
I finished up my period earlier this week… so now just checking my urine with the ovulating kit that I purchased. According to my phone app (My Days), I should be ovulating starting on February 16th… but I’m still going to be checking with the kit. I might even buy another one since I am not sure that I will still have enough sticks that will check my urine until the 16th of next month. I have to get another one this weekend for sure, I don’t want to be caught without it.
The weather lately hasn’t been all that great. Just today, there is absolutely no sun out. How dreadful! I need the sun… I crave the sun… I love the sun! But what can you do, right? You can’t control the sun or the weather. ☹
I can’t believe how much a person’s attitude can change when they start to look at things through another set of their own eyes. I’ve been seeing things so differently lately. I see myself in a whole other light. I know that things haven’t been the greatest for me the last 6 months, but I trying to turn things around for myself. I need to do that, because I can’t keep bringing myself down.
I need to be a great role model for my daughter (and any future child that I might have). I need to show Mayalis that no matter what obstacles God might put in your way, you must have the strength and faith to know that you will get through it. And believe me, I have had my share of obstacles in my life. I’ve had my heart broken so many times. I’ve felt that I was never going to find happiness after it was ripped out of my life. I’ve felt that I wasn’t good enough for anyone to love because no one wanted to love me. But it was because I believed in God and knew that He had something wonderful in store for me that I was able to rise above it all.
And it’s weird because I was having this same conversation with two friends today… what hurts more, physical pain or emotional pain? I concluded that emotional pain hurts more, for me. Physical pain, for me, is easier to treat. You can take some type of pain killer and it will take some time, but the physical pain that you are going through right there and then will go away. But when it comes to emotional pain, those scars don’t go away so easily. I know that they don’t with me.
After my ex-boyfriend broke up with me, I was crushed! I thought for sure that it was over for me. It took me a year to be able to look another guy – and just look. I couldn’t even phantom the thought of having another relationship with someone. The hurt was just too raw. He was always in the back of my mind. And the reasoning behind why he didn’t want to be with me anymore (after 2 ½ years together) just didn’t click with me. And it still doesn’t, still after all these years. And we have both moved on with our lives. He and I have become friends on Facebook but I haven’t seen him in many years. I don’t think that I can ever see him in person. Even though I have seen him in person, but every time I think about the “excuse” that he gave me for breaking up our relationship, I just want to punch him! But it is what it is. This was my first real test of becoming stronger.
After that, I fell in love with another person that never became my boyfriend. We were very good friends, and he was the one that opened me up again. I told him my hopes and my fears, my dreams and my ideas. But I guess I wasn’t what he wanted at that point in our lives. And we went our separate ways. Even though throughout the years, we became friends again, things were never the same and I decided to let the friendship fade away. I never understood why he treated me the way that he did, and I might never understand it. But that’s okay… someday I expect that he will find happiness in his life because in reality, that’s all I really wanted for him – to be happy with the choices that he makes in his life. I know that he has made it known that he messed up not only the friendship that we had, but he knows that I was his one true love – something that he knows that he can never have again. But one thing I can do is credit this person for bringing me back to life because I never thought that I would be able to love again and even though I never was able to call this person “mine”, in my heart (at the time), he was.
And it wasn’t until many years after this person walked out of my life, I found the man that would really bring happiness to my life. The man that became my best friend became my fiancée and later become my husband – and now the father of my beautiful little girl. And even though yes, we’ve had our ups and downs, I love this man with all my heart. He is the one that is always looking out for my best interest. He is the man that wants me to grow into the best person that I possibly become. My monkey for life. ☺ This man is the man that I have been looking for my whole life. And when I finally told the Lord that I was done with putting myself out there, after I told the Lord that I was tired of being hurt for no reason by people that I thought that cared for me, He put Joel in my path. He put this wonderful (and stubborn) man in my path. We are currently walking down this path together with our wonderful little princess. He has been my rock when things in my life have been too much for me to handle. He is the one that reminds me that things can be worse (which they could be) and that I am stronger than I ever think possible. And for all that he does for me, I thank the Lord for bringing me a strong man into my life. A man that showed me that yes, I was put on this earth to be loved by someone. A man that showed me that yes, I am worthy to have someone stand by me and care for me, as I would so do so for them. I thank the Lord each and every day for Joel. And no matter what life throws at me (or us), I know that it will only make our relationship stronger.
The biggest test of our relationship was the day that I found out about my menopause. I thought for sure that he wouldn’t want to be with me anymore, but he surely proved me wrong in every aspect of that thought. Between him and my mother, I have been able to get through this. But it has been Joel that has jumped into this head first and researching everything and anything possible that can be done for me. I couldn’t even type the word “menopause” into the search bar on the internet at the time. He was the one that got me my pills and vitamins when I first found out about this. I will repeat this again, probably a hundred times, but he is my rock! And no matter where I go, he always will be.
And it is because of him and Mayalis (and some others) that I decided to lose weight, to write this journal… to become the best darn person that I can be. Because if they believe me, I need to believe in myself.
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