Eating sorbet...

Okay so I'm not actually eating sorbet, but the reason that you would eat it between meals is this... a cleanser for between meals, so the way that I am using the word "sorbet" is a way of cleansing myself of things that need to be removed/changed in my life.

I need to increase my workouts... that's for sure. I feel so much better after I work out and I need to switch my running to actual workouts, for now. As much as I love running and feeling the concrete under my feet, the high impact of this type of workout is doing damage to my reproductive system. Even though the running isn't what caused my infertility, the running isn't helping the situation. So the same passion I have for running, I must now switch to regular workouts.
As much as it pains me to stop running on a regular basis, I must do this for the time being - and thankfully it will only be temporary. Hopefully I can concentrate on these new workouts and enjoy them as much as I have enjoyed running.

I need to make more time for myself... more manicures and pedicures are in future.

I need to make more time for my little princess... mommy and daughter dates are on the horizon!

Understanding myself is a must! It seems that I will be in trouble if I don't start learning more about myself, I am seriously going to lose myself.

With this being my 5th wedding anniversary, from this point forward I need to do this for myself. And to be the role model for my daughter that I greatly need to be for her and the role model that I know that I CAN be for her.

Happy anniversary, my love!!

This is the day that we promised each other that we would continue to support each other and move up together... and now that we have our little princess, we will continue to do so.

I have made it a priority to make 2013 our year to achieve our goals and I reaffirm the promise that I made to you 5 years ago...

I love you today, tomorrow and eternally! ♥

Hello... It's been a while

WOW... I think that this is the longest that I have gone without writing since I started up again.

It's not that I haven't opened up the website to write, it's just that - I don't know - I guess I did't know what to exactly write about. And it's not like I didn't have anything to write about because I did/do.

• I got sick last week and it wasn't pretty
• My little cousin graduated from college this past Saturday, the 11th
• Mother's Day was last Sunday, the 12th
• I went running/walking last week
• I got a massage at a spa on the 16th
• Dinner with a friend and her daughter on the 17th
• A nice evening bike ride with the hubby and princess on Saturday evening, the 18th
• And then a drive to Edwardsville with my friend to take her daughter back to school for summer school

So I do have things to talk about on the blog... but it's my lack of concentration that has been the force behind me not writing.

Okay... so I understand that I have people that believe in me and support me in what I want to do, but how do you move forward with your dreams when you don't believe in yourself... meaning that I feel like I have lost the faith in myself for some reason.

I have all that I want in front of me but for some reason, I feel it all slipping through my fingers because something inside of me is telling me that I don't deserve it. I don't understand why I am feeling this way.

I have started reading different articles and books about helping out my fertility problem but it seems that something inside of me is forcing me from moving forward... but I need to get past this feeling so that I can prove to myself (and others) that I am a strong person. That I fight for what I believe in and know in my heart that I need to do to get ahead.

So I deactivated my Facebook account for the time being... kind of hard since I like to share pictures of my runs and all and pictures of my baby girl.
But I have other priorities in my life that I have to put my 100% into and that is where my focus will be.

But I will share these pictures from the last couple of weeks...

Mother's Day

Daddy and princess goofing around

And other random pictures:

Spa night with Lisa

Saturday evening bike ride with the two loves

I am invincible... I guess! ;-)

I have been trying to write on my blog for the past 5 days and haven't been able to. What a fail! LOL!

And now that I am not feeling well, I decide to make it a priority to write.
Sore throat, ear ache, headache, stuffy nose... I'm a complete mess! But I am hoping that this all goes away so that I can get back outside tonight and go for another run.

Tuesday...
last night was great!
I was able to go running with both Liz and Lisa... we had a great time.
We didn't hit the 3 mile mark but we sure did come pretty close to it.
I guess I have to figure out what is a good three mile run around the neighborhood.

Monday...
so after working all day, I headed off to see our mortgage guy.
And OMG... I can't believe how long I was there with him at the bank! We didn't leave until almost 8pm! LOL! But that's okay... he gave me the information that I need to see if we can buy a house soon.
Keeping positive on this aspect of my life. ☺

Sunday...
Thank goodness I was at home... because I was able to accomplish so much.
FOUR loads of laundry washed, folded and put away! I am a ROCK star! 
The princess and hubby enjoyed the weather outside while he checked on my car, tried to fix my father's boat and was putting together his bike.
He was even able to put together dinner for us... it was so yummy!!

Saturday...
What a wonderful day!
My friend Karla's daughter made her first communion and my mother, the princess and I were there to witness it. It was so beautiful seeing her in her gown.
After the church, we all headed back to Karla's house to have some food... and that's where we spent the rest of the day at.
The princess had a blast with all the kids... and even getting all muddy! LOL!
Thankfully she fell asleep in the car (and I had taken her a bath at Karla's house)... cause mommy and daddy went to the movies that night! LOL!
So when I left the princess with my mom, I raced downstairs to take a shower and get ready.

We went to see the original Blues Brother's movie with my friend Lisa and her brother.
It was such a great movie... I had never seen it on the big screen!
After the movie, we headed to Chinatown to have some late night grub!
It was finally 3am when we got home and stayed home!

Friday...
I guess this is the reason that I haven't really written anything because even though I was with my two loves and enjoying the whole day with them, this was the day that I met with the fertility doctor.

After getting everyone ready and out the door - the appointment was at 9:30am - we get to the doctor's office.
Of course the princess recognizes the office building and tells us that she is going to play with toys. LOL! Okay... whatever you say, darlin'!! LOL!
So we waited in the waiting area to be called to see the doctor... and like I mentioned on Thursday, I was going into this meeting with an open mind and heart and I did.

But it was the way that she looked at me, that I knew that she was going to say something to me that I wasn't going to like.
And my gut feeling was correct!

The doctor told me that my FSH levels were so high, that I wasn't going to be able to have a child on my own.
WOW... what a blow to my womaness feelings!
She mentioned something about using a donor egg and the hubby's sperm but at that point, I kind of tuned her out. I wasn't ready to hear something like that.
I don't remember much of the conversation... thankfully my wonderful and supportive hubby was there and got to ask all the questions that I guess he had been waiting to ask.
After being with her a little while... she gave us her cell phone number and escorted us the back door so that no one would see that I had been crying with her.
And then I lost it in the car... I just cried my eyes out.

I know that this isn't the end of the road for me... but I will be putting it on the back-burner so that I can concentrate on some other important things in my life.

So after gathering myself together, the three of us got some food to eat and headed back into the city to run some errands.
Drove around a bit... and we stopped at Stanley's Fruit Market to pick up some much needed fruits.

I love this picture of the princess staring at all the strawberries that were outside of the store! 

She just kept yelling... BERRIES... BERRIES... BERRIES!! 
It was just the cutest thing to see her get all excited about fruit! LOL!

And because the strawberries were SOOOO cheap...

We purchased 4 cases of them!!! It was great... $4.00 for 4 cases! LOVE IT!!!

Then it was off to Mariano's for some soup for lunch and get some other stuff that we needed.

And at the end of the night... it was dinner made by the hubby with nothing but fresh ingredients! It was soooo yummy!!

Wild rice with a chicken breast with avocado-mango salsa

So now that I am caught up with my blog... I am hoping to be more on top of it.
I know that I didn't write out much of what went down at the doctor's office... it's just too raw for me to write about at this moment. I'm sure that I will be able write about it at another time.

Just need to shift my focus onto other things right now... and hopefully my body will get the picture.
But I am happy with myself and the direction that I am headed... so I hope that my levels (not just my FSH level) will start to come down so that I can see myself in a whole other light.

Wishing you all a wonderful afternoon and evening.
Sending love ♥... light ☼... happiness ☺... and music ♫

Hasta la proxima!

Happy May!

What a wonderful way to start off a new month, if only I had finished this post yesterday!

The sun is shining... ☼.. thankfully!

So on Tuesday night, I went for a run... and it felt great!
I ran around my neighborhood for about 25 minutes and covered one mile and a half.
I would really like increase my distance to go with the time. I would love to be able to cover the 3.1 miles that I usually run in about 35 to 38 minutes.

Thankfully the weather isn't all that terrible that I can't get back outside to run... and I am hoping that I can continue to improve my distance and time.

Last night... was AWESOME!!
After standing in line from 4:30pm until about 6:50pm, the hubby and I were finally let into the theater to see an advanced screening of Iron Man 3 and in 3D no less! It was fantastic! The movie had me scream, jump, laugh and all sorts of other emotions.
But none-the-less, we had a fabulous time... and we met some nice people while there.
Maybe we'll go again and see it... cause I 

So today is just like any other day at work... 

Tomorrow... well, that will be another story.
I have an appointment with the fertility doctor... she wants to go over my hormone levels from my blood work on Tuesday. *sigh*
I am trying to keep positive about this whole thing... but when you have a conflicting emotions about it, things can get a little tricky.
That's why I went on that run on Tuesday night... I had to get these emotions out of my system and focus on the things that are currently in my life - especially the positive ones.

I will go into this appointment tomorrow with my two loves... my hubby and my princess... with an open heart and mind and maybe I'll come out of there with a different sense and with more empowering information.

Bring it on!! ☺

Well, I don't have much to report on... it's been a quiet week.
But I will be headed back to the gym tonight... I need to get out of the house for a little bit.
I have some workouts that I want to try out... and hopefully I will get to try them tonight.
I am in dire need of some good looking abs, damn it! And hopefully I will get them... I found some much needed workouts that I can try out. Hopefully it will work out for me.

Have a wonderful evening!
Thanks for reading!
Hasta la proxima!