January 24, 2012

January 24, 2012
WOW… It’s been a great week.
Last night I was told that I was down another 3.2 pounds for the week. That’s a total of 4.4 pounds since I started Weight Watchers!!! I am so excited. And after a weekend of eating, drinking and hanging out (I did dance at the birthday party!), I thought for sure that I didn’t lose a thing. My goal is to continue with at the minimum of 2 pounds per week… that would be the best thing for me.
I can’t believe that I didn’t do this earlier! I should have started this right after I had Mayalis… all the weight that I wanted to shed would have probably been gone by now. I probably wouldn’t be going through what I am going through right now. But I can’t dwell on something that I didn’t do; there is nothing that I can do about it now. I am just happy that I decided to finally do it.
At the rate that I am going, I am hoping to be at my goal weight by the summer… YIPPEE!!!
My way of looking at food has changed so much… I am looking at different ways of incorporating 0 point foods into my meals (0 point foods are most fruits and veggies). What a great way of expanding my meals by adding these foods so there is more to eat throughout the day.
And my water intake has gone up so much! I regularly drink water but I am now more aware of it and drinking it even more! And I am even aware of the dairy that I want to have every day. I feel terrible when I don’t get in my daily cup of soy milk. Silk chocolate milk is so yummy!! Mayalis is even drinking some with me when she sees me with it.
Both Joel and my mom are so proud of me… they know how much I am struggling with getting this weight off and they are my two biggest supporters. And I’m sure that if Mayalis knew what was going on, she would cheer me on too! LOL!!
I haven’t really told many people that I am doing the whole Weight Watchers program… I guess I will reveal that little bit of information when I have reached either my 5% or 10% goal. LOL!! For some reason when I tell people what I am doing to achieve my goals, I don’t get very far with them. And since I am not telling many people, I feel that I don’t have a lot of negative energy around me. It seems that people LOVE to see other people fail, but it is not going to happen to me this time around. I am going to see this thing all the way through. I am going to achieve something that I have been waiting to do for a very long time… lose this weight. ☺
Well, onto another conversation…
Well, now that my period is over, I now have to keep track on when my body is supposed to start ovulating. I am hoping that it actually happens because if it does, then that means that we will be able to get pregnant with another child. And that is the goal here… to have another child to care for and a sibling for Mayalis.
I am kind of nervous… what if my body doesn’t want to ovulate? I know that I have the medication at home, but I don’t want to take medication. I just want this to happen naturally. I feel that I can make this happen… but what if it doesn’t? I pray that things turn out the way that it’s supposed to be… the way that God believes that it should.
There is no other way that I see it… this is all God’s will for this to happen.
I know that science (the doctors) can always help things along, but do I want to go against what God and my body want to happen? Especially my body… I don’t want something terrible to happen to my unborn child, or even to me. I have a little girl that relies on me – I have to be there for her. I need to be there to see my little girl grow up. She needs to have her mommy around… And that’s why I am working so hard to get this weight off so that I can be there for her.
My outlook on life has changed so much since September… I see things so differently. I don’t want to sit around and wait for things to happen for me. I need to make them happen for me and my family. I want to grow as a family and as an individual. I need to do what is right for me. I need to do what I feel is good for myself.
I’ve already accomplished so much in such little bit of time… so what is next on my list of things to accomplish? School! Ugh… the hardest thing on my list to accomplish. This is the one thing that is going to take up the majority of my time away from my family. Do I start looking into what I want to study now or wait a little longer for that? Decisions, decisions… and decisions like this are never easy.
So… do I actually go back to school or do I take a course that I do on my own? Well, we all know how well I do with things that I do on my own. Not too well on the second suggestion. But I don’t have the time to head back to school… I have a family, I have Weight Watchers meetings, I have the gym and I still have to work through all this. When do I have time to go to school? UGH!!!!!!
I know that I started off at DeVry University… and I was just on their website looking at things that I might be able to go back and do, but none of things are interesting to me anymore. And to be honest, I don’t even know what interests me.
I went to another website to check out some other courses that I might be able to do… but like I mentioned, nothing is really catching my attention.
I know that I must do something for myself educational wise… if not, I won’t be happy with anything that I am currently doing. I will feel like a failure not only to myself, but to my family. I want to accomplish something great for myself… but if only I knew what that was.
I want my little girl to see her mom as someone that she can look up to… someone that accomplished things in her life, in spite of all the obstacles that were thrown at her. And don’t get me wrong, I LOVE school! I always have. Just that every time I am in a classroom, I get bored with what is being taught to me. I never retain anything that I learn past that day/evening/week. It’s said to say.
Even though I know a lot about some stuff, I am clueless on other things. I have seen other people put their whole lives on hold in order to get their education. But then again, these are people that already know what they want to study.
I’ve been searching on the internet up and down for different schools to attend… different areas of studies. I’ve even looked at some of the home correspondence courses on wedding coordinators, starting your own business, paralegal and one more thing but I can’t remember right now. I’m just not sure what I want to do, that’s the main thing. But who is to say that if I do find something that I want to study that I’ll be happy with that.
Joel was lucky… he knew exactly what he wanted to study, and he was able to find a job in it before he graduated so that he would already be set. That was just awesome.
I’ve been at my job for over 4 years now and no matter what I study, it is not going to go hand-in-hand with what I am currently in. I would have to start my career all over again… and who knows what age I will be when I am done. And really, who wants to start their career all over.
So I will wait for all the brochures to come in that I requested and see where I go from there… that’s probably the best way to make a decision. I’ve requested information from at least 2 schools… so let’s see what happens now.
I will just continue to concentrate on my working out and my Weight Watchers weight loss.