02/21/2012

February 21, 2012
UGH! I cannot believe that I gained when I went to my W/I last night! Okay, so it wasn't a HUGE gain (0.2 pounds) but I still gained. My leader said that it could have been because of the jeans that I was wearing, but still... I am on a mission here, people!! There is no looking back to the old Meli... I only want to see the new Meli in front of me.

That's the whole reason that I joined WW... not to see the scale numbers go up!

So... I've had my breakfast already and someone here at work decided to bring in donuts. I am not going to lie, but I did grad a 1/4 of one but I am prouder of the fact that I tossed it in the trash instead of eating it. :-) Baby steps, Meli... baby steps.

I am just so proud of myself... and all the accomplishments that I've recently had since I started WW. I love what WW has done for me. I am finally seeing a different self. I am finally seeing the goals that I have set for myself coming to life.

I need to buckle up this week not mess up... I really want to look nice for my daughter's 2nd birthday and that is just 2 months away. And mind you, I said NICEbecause I will not be even close to what my GOAL weight will be in April. LOL! So at least if I look nice, I will feel even better for my 4 year anniversary in May... and hopefully I will look ROCKIN' for that! LOL!

I've had this dress in my closet that my husband bought for me I believe that it was for our first summer as husband and wife and I can tell you that I still have the tags on it! :-( And one of my goals is to wear it this summer! It is a very sexy dress... and I want to have the confidence to be able to wear it, but I won't have that until I lose my first 20 pounds! Still have a ways to go before I hit that mark, but hopefully one day this summer I will be able to say that I have made it to that mark and I will be able to post myself in that dress.

One thing I have been able to do more often is walk with my head held higher... higher than I have ever held it. And I have to thank WW for their program and Jennifer Hudson for being on Dr Oz on the day that I was at home watching him. If it wasn't for me being at home because of a migraine (and just feeling terrible about going into work!), I would have never thought that I have gotten this far. I sat there and cried my eyes out because I just wanted to have all this weight come off (magically) and didn't know where to turn... and there comes out Jennifer Hudson looking fabulous and all my worries about how I was going to get this weight off finally clicked... WEIGHT WATCHERS! If it worked for her, it could possibly work for me... and it has been! I don't know why I didn't try this earlier! Probably because I wouldn't have stuck to it... but God put this opportunity in front of me at the right moment, and I am glad that I picked up the signals to do something about it.

I've gained some more confidence over the last few months... especially since finding about my menopause sentence. I had the confidence to cut my hair short (my profile picture is the first picture that I took the Monday after I cut it) and this new picture is from my new cut from Friday - I just took it this morning. I cut it shorter than the first time... and everyone seems to like it.

Everyday I am forced to look at myself in the mirror... and its with each and everyday that I find the courage to finally like myself. I am praying for the strength to one day to look in the mirror and love the person that is staring back at me. And I know with time, I will find the strength and courage to do just that... say that I am finally happy with myself.