March 29th, 2012

March 29, 2012
Good morning cupcake... how you doin'?
What a wonderful week! I have had so many eye-openers this week but don’t take that as a bad thing. It just means that I have been growing as an individual and I love the way that I am seeing things in a whole different light.
The sun is coming up strong this morning (it’s now 7:30am) and it has given me a whole different outlook on life. If the sun can rise up strong and bright, why can’t I? I have the same right to do the same thing as the sun. Stand up taller… smile a little bigger… laugh a little louder. Make myself known to the world, even if the world never knows who I am.
And with the end of the month right around the corner, a greater sense of self has finally come around into my life. I am making myself my own priority. I am not going to wonder why people make me feel unworthy of their friendship because I am my own best friend. I am making the time to get know myself even better. Learning what works for me and what will help me grow as an individual. What will help me get to my goal? Who will help me along the way to attain my goal?
Not only am I my own best friend, am I also my own worst enemy. I am only human and I know that I will come across an hour, a day, a week of beating myself up about something that is out of my control. I am allowed to make mistakes but I not allowed wallowing in those mistakes.
The reason that I am making all these changes in my life is because I want to be able to live it as long as possible and the most important reason is that I want to be a role model for my daughter. She needs a strong female role model in her tiny life and I plan on being that for her. I do not want to her to look at other woman as role models; I want her to look at her mother as her model. I might not have accomplished a lot as of right now, but she is still young and I still have a lot of time ahead of me.
I also want to be someone that I am proud of… and I can be honest and say that there have been times that I have not been very proud of the choices that I have made in my life but those choices are the ones that have made me into the person that I am now. And whether or not the choices that I have made in the past aren’t the best, they are the ones that I have made and I have to live with them. They have allowed me to mold myself into something better. Those choices are the ones that give me the strength to move forward in my life… to look forward to other adventures that I am destined to have in my life.
I am tired of sitting back and watching everyone else enjoying their life… it is time for this chick to enjoy her life with her family and those friends that want to enjoy it with her. I have continued to look on Groupon to find things for my husband and me to do. Wine tastings, ¾-course meals at nice restaurants… things like that. I’ve even found something for our daughter to do… I want her to be well rounded. I want her to enjoy her childhood. I want her to enjoy it and be able to say when she’s older that her parents allowed her to be a child and she is happy with her childhood. My mother allowed me to be a child and I want to do the same thing for my child. Especially since there are so many things for her to do in her life, and I am going to make sure that I am able to give her all those things.
I have to say that I have been able to make some of my husband’s dreams come true because of those Groupon’s that I have found. I gave him a flying lesson for our anniversary. I gave him photography lessons for Father’s Day. I am hoping that I can find some more things along the way that I will be able to share with him or things that I can have him do himself. If I am going to grow, I am going to make sure that those around me are growing with me. And that means that my husband, my mother and my daughter are coming along for the ride. And if it is a bumpy ride, so be it… but I will make sure that it’s a good ride none-the-less. I will make it something that they will always remember.
I want to shine as bright as my life will allow me to do.
I want to leave my mark on the hearts of those that care about me.
I want to do something great for myself that I can be extremely proud of.
I will accomplish it all!