I want to help... but you can't help when other's don't want to see the toxic relationships that they are putting themselves through.
Yes... things might be different but they will also remain the same because some people just don't care about other people's feelings and they are only out for themselves.
Sometimes you must put yourself first in order to find true happiness with the problems that are coming your way... that way you are even more powerful than you ever believed possible.
No matter what the situation may be, yes... it is possible to fall out of love with someone that at one time made you happy. This happens only when you realize how valuable your life is.
This person that treats you like crap, makes you feel worthless, etc, does NOT love you anymore... if they did, they wouldn't put you through all this misery.
True, unconditional love doesn't make you feel worthless... true, unconditional love doesn't hurt you... true, unconditional love doesn't belittle you.. true, unconditional love doesn't abuse you in any way shape or form.
True, unconditional love is just that... it's true... it's unconditional... it's all the warm and fuzziest feelings... it's safe... it's growing... and everything!
I pray that those in toxic relationships finally see their own worth... that they are better than the situations that they are putting themselves through. No matter how hard it may be to walk away, how scared you may feel to be alone, how alone you may feel because you feel that you will never find someone to love you... you are not alone.
There is help... a friend that knows the situation and is willing to help. A church group that wants you to come in with your story so they can embrace you and tell you that they can help you find your way. An organization that helps battered men/women in these types of situations.
But know that you are not alone in this... God is always on your side and HE wants to see you happy. HE wants you to proud of yourself. HE wants you to come out of the shadow of darkness that is currently surrounding you and come into the bright light that is real love.
That is all... Not trying to be preachy or anything but it's just that I don't believe that anyone has to be unhappy with the situations that they are put in. Everyone has the right to be happy and walk away from the situations that make them unhappy or unsafe. No matter what the situation is or what the effects of the situation, no one has the RIGHT to try you like crap.
If you continue to give them that right, then they will continue to treat you the unconventional way... like you don't matter.
And when you surround yourself with people that don't value you, that is when you feel the loneliest!
Lift yourself up, dust yourself off... and put a smile on your face. Things will get better if you believe that it will and if you strive for relationships that are worth it.
But onto more positive or semi-positive news...
I had my appointment with the fertility doctor yesterday and I heard back from the fertility clinic...
They are putting me on birth control to bring down my FSH level... it's through the roof right now. I can't take the hormone because it won't help me with my level so high.
So I'll be taking the pill for the next month and hopefully sometime in the next month or so, I can start taking the hormone shot that the doctor wants me to start taking.
UGH... I am so stressed out.
I need to calm down... if I don't, something is going to knock me down and I don't know if I will be able to get back up.
And don't get me wrong, I have the best support group of friends that a girl can ever ask for... but things are starting to get to me.
It doesn't help either that my hormone levels are all over the place... I need to get them in control.
I have some natural pills at home that I had been taking to get my hormone levels in check, but for some reason I stopped taking them. I guess I have to be more in tune in taking them again on a regular basis.
I have to just take things one day at a time...
And believe me... I am grateful for things that I do have in my life and the wonderful husband and princess that God has given to me.
And trying to bring down my stress level is what I am going to do for myself... only I can do this for myself. No one else can do this for me.
I know that there are factors in my life that I have to change in order to bring that stress level down... and I have pin-pointed those factors... and I pray that with the strength of God that I am able to do this.
I have to do this for myself...
I need my sanity back...
I need to be good to myself...
And I hope that this weekend, things can start destressing myself...
Let's hope with the dinner with friends that I have tonight - more sushi! - I am able to take things one day at a time and learn again what it is to have LESS stress in my life.
Wishing everyone a fabulous Friday afternoon/evening... and hasta la proxima!
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