Going up and down...

It's the end of the month... and this will count as blog entry #150.

WOW... I can't believe that I have written so much in such a small amount of time. 
I know... I know... it really isn't all that much because in reality, if I've been writing consistently for over a year, I should have over 300 entries. But I am hoping that I get to that number sometime this year. Only need 150 entries more in order to get to at least 300... and that's only 150 days. LOL!!

And that's another goal for myself... to be able to get to 300 blog entries by the end of the year. 

So okay... I didn't make it to the gym last night.

But after rescheduling the fertility appointment from Monday morning, I did make it to the appointment this morning.
As usual, I got my blood drawn and had an ultrasound done... and they advise me that they will call me later this afternoon to let me know my results.

I get that call... and it's not the information that I was expecting.
The nurse tells me that my FSH levels - FSH regulates the development, growth, pubertal maturation, and reproductive processes of the body - are WAY higher than the last time I was there.
OMG... I can't believe that I can't catch a break with these levels of mine.
So now I have an appointment with the fertility doctor on Friday morning... she wants to go over the results with me.
I am so distraught over this.... especially since I have changed my diet and exercise drastically so that I feel better about myself.

I am trying to keep positive about this... and I am so happy that the hubby is keeping me there.

Being conflicted with both my mind and heart... I just don't know how much more I can take of this but I don't want to give up either. I am just so emotionally raw... I have put myself on the line here and I don't know what to do anymore.

I don't know what to do or what to focus on anymore... but I am focusing on myself and my family. I know that I have so many other things that I need and want to accomplish for myself and for my family.

I guess after our appointment on Friday will allow me to figure things out... put things in perspective for me.

Good-bye April... I welcome May with open arms.
Mother's Day... my 5th wedding anniversary... another run... warmer weather. ☼
Bring it on!! 

Ending this entry here... thanks for reading! 
Love ♥... music ♫... and happiness ☺
Hasta la proxima!