Feeling alone... in a room full of people...

Now why you ask? Well, that's just the way that I feel when I'm in a room.

How could that happen with so many people around? How could that happen with so much chattering going on? How could that be with so much happiness in one room?

Easily, I can tell you... when you are rejected.
Easily, when others want the attention all themselves.
Easily when you ignored when others have come back into the picture and now expect that they are the only ones that matter now.

Then again, I guess relationships are being tested. Relationships are wearing thin. Relationships have just run their course.

And it doesn't help that tomorrow will be the one year anniversary of the phone call that changed my life.

I guess the feeling of being alone with this is coming back... no one knows my pain. No one understands my pain. And no one will ever understand why I feel the way that I do.

I thought that my life would be different at this point in my life. I thought that my friendships would have been stronger. I thought that I would have the support that I once had in my life. But I have been noticing the difference that people are staying behind while I want to grow. I want my life to be different but others want things to be the same.

I can't do that... I can't be the same because I am not the same. I am not the same person that I was last year. I'm not even the same person that I was a week ago.

Whatever... I'm done. There is no reason to dwell on what is or what isn't.

I guess you have to roll with the punches... and learn to grow within yourself in order to be completely happy with yourself.