Mayalis got sick over the weekend really bad... that I just decided not to do anything and just concentrate on her and getting her well again. That was my main concern, nothing else. Nothing else mattered this weekend, and I was okay with that.
She got a lot of sleep and that was good...hopefully her appetite starts to come back soon because I know that I shouldn't worry too much because she does pick at food, but not seeing her eat a meal is killing me inside.
Last night she really showed me how independent she really is... I went upstairs to take something to my mom and Mayalis started getting comfortable while I still had my sweater on. She took her shoes, her socks and even her jacket off.
She then proceeded to sit at her little table and tell me "bye"... and pointing at the back door.
You should have seen my face... I was stunned, shocked and even amused by her actions.
When I started walking towards the back door, she starts running towards me and here I think that she's playing with me about "throwing" me out of my parents home, but no... I was sadly walked to the back door, which she tried to open, and was shown out! OMG!! My daughter literally threw me out of the house!
I walked down the stairs, feeling hurt but also proud of my little girl - hurt because she threw me out but also proud of her that she was able to make that decision to let me go.
The day that my little girl leaves the nest is going to be one of the hardest days of my life, but I know in my heart, she is going to be okay. She's stronger than I have ever imagined. She amazes me with her actions every single day.
Other than that, it was a very quiet weekend... time to reflect on a lot of things.
I just want to throw my phone away and find out who is really there for me - not a huge test since my phone doesn't ring.
I just want to sparkle like a firework, burn like a dancing flame - I don't want anything or anyone to put me out again. That cannot happen to me again.
I am not the person that gets the phone call or gets invited - I get that. I am the person far off the mind that the mention of my name surprised those around.
Throw your sticks and stones, your bombs and blows are harsh but those things aren't going to break my soul any longer.
I have been the one around but the situation is so clear now that I am the one that is completely disregarded - the last one on the mind - but I am not taking it any longer.
Have you enjoyed tearing me at the seams until I have come completely undone?
I have recreated myself and now my new colors are shining brighter than ever before
I thank those that have created this new person... be afraid!
My eyes are full of life... full of fire... my heart is now completely shut out of the things that have been done to me. I stood before you as a broken person, looking for approval... but now the new me stands with her head up and stitched up like never before.
I will strive... I will get ahead despite of what you may or may not think of me.
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