Getting stronger...

Those are some powerful words... getting stronger.

But I am getting stronger as each day pushes by... as each day opens up into another one, I see myself in a totally different light. I see how things are changing inside and outside of me.

I can see a little better... I feel a little better... I can run a little faster.
I can see the light at the end of my journey... and it is burning a little brighter as I inch my way closer to it.

With only 11 days until my birthday, I didn't make my goal of losing a TON of weight but since leaving Weight Watchers but I haven't gained any either and that right there, is a HUGE feat. I was CERTAIN that I was going to gain a ton of weight after deciding to drop Weight Watchers but I am so glad that I haven't.
On the contrary, I have become stronger (here's the word again) and I have found the courage to register for my first race and continue to train for it.


But then of course you get those days when everyone around you wants to just bring negativity into your life. You try so hard not to let it get to you but all you want to do is sit on the floor and SCREAM your head off. Just crash into a wall and hope that you knock yourself out. Fall from the sky and just soar away from all of it. When it feels like a nightmare and you are WIDE awake to all the hurt that you are feeling.

To those feelings - that try to bring me down - I say to you, I will take you and run... run until I cannot run anymore. Take you outside, throw you to the ground so that I can stomp on you every time I come around.
I hate feeling helpless... I hate feeling worthless... I hate trying to please when I just get kicked until everything that I work for is just blown in my face.

These days are so trying... it sure does take a toll on your spirit when you try to do everything that you can to get things done and people just don't appreciate all the hard work that you do. I'm not asking you to throw a party every time I do something but acknowledge that I do work hard on getting things done.

Sometimes I just want to give up on everything that I am working on... but then I look at all I have accomplished thus far and I can't. I can't let the feeling that are pulling me down bring me down completely. I need to continue to march ahead of these feelings and know that not all of this in vain. I will get past all these terrible feelings and forge ahead to all my dreams and aspirations. 

And here is a prayer poem that I came across that sort of calmed me down this afternoon...

I pray for every woman who has ever been hurt~

I pray for every woman who has been abused~

I pray for every woman who has been abandoned~

I pray for every woman who is in pain~

I pray for every woman lost in confusion~

I pray for every woman searching for answers~

I pray for every woman searching for healing~

I pray for every woman in need of forgiveness~

I pray for every woman who wants to forgive~

I pray for every woman afraid of how powerful she really is~

I pray for every woman feeling helpless~

I pray for every woman feeling hopeless~

I pray for every woman feeling alone~

I pray for every woman afraid to trust~

I know that every woman out there has had their woe... and sometimes we just need to wallow in our sorrow for a little bit but then we must remember that we are stronger than yesterday... stronger than we ever believed. Because what doesn't kill you makes you STRONGER!

No matter how much you think that you will be swallowed "alive" by your problems, don't! Allow your faith in yourself outshine everything that might be fighting within you. And remember, all this sorrow is only temporary... the happiness that you walk with is permanent. 

On a totally positive note...
We have just registered the little princess in her first ever "race" - the Donner Dash! She will be "running" a 50 yard "race" on December 9th. OMG... we are being such positive role models for our little girl. Too bad that she doesn't understand that whole concept of future things because we would be able to get her all pumped up for this little race that she will be participating in.

Since this race is an 8k and not a 5k, this race is a little longer so I am not going to register for this race. Besides, I want to see my little girl in this race! How exciting!!!
I've already posted it on Facebook so that people can come out and cheer her on!  You should see the HUGE grin on my face right now while I am typing this!! LOL! 

When I think that things are getting worse, just a small thing just turns it all around. 
I guess it has been a pretty good day after all.

Hasta la proxima!