The last day of the month...

It's so bitter-sweet to get to the end of a month... sometimes you don't want it to end - in my case since November is my favorite month of the year - and sometimes you can't wait until it ends so that you have the opportunity to start fresh the next month.

But even though today marks the end of November of 2012, tomorrow marks the beginning of new journeys for me.

Tomorrow, December 1st, 2012, I will run my first (of hopefully many) 5k's with my hubby! I am very proud of us to be taking on this challenge that is so far out of the ordinary for us both. 
We have both said that we wanted to run a 5k but we've never made the attempt to do nor had we ever registered for a run. And now we have broken through that stereotype that "Hispanics don't care about their health", I am proud of our new journey together to find happiness with living a better lifestyle - a healthier one!

And hopefully with this race being on the 1st of the month.. it will be...

With the start of a brand new year coming right around the corner. A lot can be done in 31 days, so why not take the advantage of 31 days and make a difference in your life, right? Especially since it only takes repeating something for 30/31 days before it becomes a habit.

As I have said before, I want to be a healthy role model for my little girl. I don't want her to be hung up on numbers - as us women are so inclined to do - but to be caught up on how much energy she has and how much fruits and vegetables play a huge role in our life.

Today I plan on taking a picture of myself and reevaluating myself in 30 days to see how I am doing. And I will continue to do that until I have finally gotten rid of all this weight. That is my promise... this is the only way that I will be able to FINALLY do it. 
Even though I love taking pictures, it has become clear to me, I do not like the way that I am looking in my pictures. I am not going to bow down to the stereotype that I am not going to get rid of this weight because that is not who I want to be. 
I have been bitching and moaning about this WAY too long... I need to either "sh!t or get off the pot!". I can't keep bitching about the way that I am looking if I am not going to do anything about it. 
So if I can see people do it naturally, what the hell is my problem and why can't I do it too? I did it before, a long time ago, so what's stopping me now?

And this picture that I take of myself might not be the best picture that I have ever taken of myself... but hey... it's a start of something that I want to finally accomplish. This CRAP is driving me crazy. I hate getting dressed in the morning... I hate trying to find something that will "fit me right"! 
I want to be able to go into a store and know that I might be able to find something and be happy with it. 
I want to look fierce for ONCE in my life... not okay.
I want to look and feel confident for ONCE in my life... no slink in a corner because I don't feel that way.
I don't want to deal with all the medical conditions that keep me away from my job... because believe or not, I actually love my job now. I am not stressed but my body is and I have to get rid of all this excess weight so that I am not stressing about it anymore.

Me... 11/30/2012

So this Saturday, December 1st, I will continue to look forward to this run and to continue working towards my goal - whatever that first goal may be. I am not going to put a number there because whatever number shows up that is lower than my currently number will be fine by me. I just want to reach a point in my life that I am happy with myself. 

I want my to be proud of the person that I have/will become and know that I am here to stay for a very long time. 
Maybe I can finally get to see my abs again... something that I haven't seen since high school.
I want to look in the mirror and smile at the person that is staring back at me. 
I want to end 2012 on a positive note and start 2013 in the same attitude... I want to leave the old, grumpy Meli in the wings and have her find new wings to fly with. I want to soar!

Just writing that little sentence brought tears to my eyes... I don't want to feel like this anymore. I know that positive, upbeat Meli is trapped inside of me... and I can't wait until she has broken out and shown up again. I know that I will get there because I have finally gotten to my breaking point.

I am certainly paying the price for not taking care of myself better - I do try to eat as healthy as I can and try to get in as much running as I can - but I need to get better at it because if I don't - I'm even afraid to type out what could possibly happen to me.

So I won't write it and leave this entry here... before I completely break down and I won't be good for anyone here today.

Hasta la proxima! And wish me luck on tomorrow's race! :-)